Well, the fall garage sale is over. My last attempt this year to get rid of stuff, reduce clutter and make a real dollar or two. Next up, the donation truck is coming in two weeks to pick up the leftovers. I have also arranged to donate some of the winter clothing items to our school for kids who don't have any.
Leading up to the sale though, H prepped the garage by moving the classic car out of it, moving everything not included in the sale to the 3rd stall, and hanging tarps to block that stall off from the rest. He knows I am trying to de-clutter - so this is his contribution.
Needless to say, in the nights leading up to the sale, I was up late doing prep. I also had a early morning meeting and left before everyone was up. So H and I hadn't connected at all - . So yesterday, we made it up with some early morning and mid-afternoon antics!
Adding to the chaos, hockey is in full swing - both S6 and D9 started last week. And to our surprise, S4 wants to try too. I let him skate briefly on Saturday - and he may play Mites in a few weeks.
This stuff is important to the DBing process because my H and I have to work as a team and communicate well to survive all of this. Tonight we have three things on the calendar - a mandatory preschool orientation for S4 and us alone (no siblings), hockey practice for D9 and curriculum night for D9. And H has to work late.
He offered to try to come home early, but I got MIL to cover hockey and take S6 with her. I will take S4 to his and I talked to D9's teacher and said I won't be there.
The test is HOW TO REMAIN A COUPLE AFTER BECOMING PARENTS . This is the part that they need to teach in the pre-marriage classes. This is the part that tests any couple, but especially one back from the brink.
That is why I continue to come here. The need for support is on-going. When we hit bumps in the road, we need to be able to step back, evaluate and make the right decision about how to 1. work around the bump 2. Go slowly over the bump to avoid to much jarring or 3. hit it hard and fast and get it over with.
Those are my thoughts for the day. It has been since the end of May that H returned and our 13th anniversary is in November. Last year at this time I believed we would be together because I wouldn't let myself believe anything else. And now we will be! Woohoo!
PS - No date yet, but we're working on it!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
The update will have to wait a few days. I am flying out to Virgina this evening to present at a conference tomorrow. I have to pack and stuff.
Not sure about flying into the hurricane weather, but just have to put it in God's hands. I am used to tornados and stuff in this neck of the woods.
My S4 is sad about me leaving and has given me one of this "night-nights" to take with along with a few books that I can read him at night when we "cuddle" on the phone. He's so cute. I haven't traveled since he was younger so he isn't used to it any more.
I'll be back mid-week, have a good one!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Where are you? I am wondering how things are going over in post-Piecing. It's a rough road for a lot of us, as we grapple with issues of trust, "is this for real," old patterns of behavior, etc.
How are you doing it? What challenges are you facing?
Thanks for checking up on me. I am still here in the lurking mode. I wasn't sure if anyone wanted to hear from me...
Things are going well. My H and I are getting better at saying what we need to "out loud" and not expect the other to "mind read".
In fact, tomorrow is our 13th anniversary. We don't have any plans. D9 has hockey practice at dinner time so maybe a little private celebration at bedtime will have to do or dinner at a later date.
My best gift is that we are back together where we belong and not apart like last year. We have never done much to mark our anniversary - we started a collection of wooden decoys when we got married. We didn't add to it last year so I am thinking we should get two this year - we'll see.
My H came home for "lunch" last week one day. S4 was playing on the computer and none the wiser as to what mommy and daddy were really doing.
There are still times of confusion and uncertainty, but I am confident that we can overcome anything. I am certain that the OW (EA) is long gone. H is very committed to us and we are having fun again.
We talk, laugh and goof around in a way that had been gone from our relationship for a long time. You don't realize it is gone, but once it is back, you wonder how you let it slip away.
I have to catch up with some of my regulars - I have been lurking when I can, but need to drop in just to say hi if nothing else.
I'll let you know if the anniversary holds any surprises. But again, I feel like I received the best gift of all.
I continue to pray for those on this BB as it helped me recapture my M.
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
Quote: I wasn't sure if anyone wanted to hear from me...
Of course we do!
As for the anniversary - our first anniversary after reconciling was okay, not spectacular - but H made our second anniversary after reconciling really special. I think it took that long for him to process the guilt.
I am so happy for you totite! You sound like things are going well for you. I bet not playing the "mind reading" game really helps things. You truly are an inspiration and I pray that your M continues to grow and be blessed.
Yes, I am still around. I lurk occassionally but with my schedule of late, haven't posted in a while.
Happy New Year everyone!
Let me back up and recap a bit. My H and I have never made a big deal of our anniversary (Nov) but had established a tradition of buying an item for a collection we started together. The past few years we hadn't rushed out to buy anything. However, this year, my H went out and bought one and gave it to me on our anniversary. No card, but his effort spoke volumes. I gave him a card and a naughty lingerie item which I modeled after the kids went to bed....
The holidays went well, the hardest part is that my mom is has the early signs of Alzheimers and since she always prepares dinner, my sister and I tried to help without taking over. Needless to say, it was interesting and probably the last time we can let her make it.
With two kids playing hockey, we have been spending alot of time at the rink. I also started playing again, one late evening each week. That has been a blast. Usually 12-16 women scrimmaging. A nice night out for mom. I just have a hard time getting to sleep after I creep back home to a dark, quiet house. I am too wired from playing so hard.
Good news on that front too. My H has taken a great interest in our backyard rink. We moved the location of the rink so we could make it larger this year. Last year it was about 30x50 feet. This year it is closer to 40x65 feet. He put boards up at each end so the kids can shoot pucks. And he has gone out nightly to flood it. With any luck they will be skating on it by the weekend.
My S4 can hardly wait. He isn't playing hockey yet so he wants to skate in his backyard instead.
In fact, I have to bundle up, run out and put a layer of water on it now. The more I can do during the day, means the faster we have ice to skate on! Woo-hoo!
More on the R between H and I later. But it is going well.
I would comment to all of you here that it can be done. My H moved out for almost 10 months and he chose to move back. All of my piecing efforts ocurred after he left our home. I didn't even know about DB prior to his leaving.
There are so many posts here that I can relate too, but can't go on every thread. I'll try to address some of the issues and struggles as I see them - but do it here. Okay?
(Thanks Pam, for putting a candle under me to post!)
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
. So yesterday, we made it up with some early morning and mid-afternoon antics! 
He's so cute. I haven't traveled since he was younger so he isn't used to it any more. 
