The weekend had some changes. She did come over for dinner with our youngest son and myself. She brought me some pretzels. Soon after dinner she looked bad. She complained of a very upset stomach and being tired. She laid down on our bed and I cuddled behind her to rub her temples. She fell a sleep quickly. I believe her medical issue is more than I thought.
Before she went to sleep she said that she is often scared at night. It was like she was a young child.
Yes, they do have issues sleeping at night and you may heard a "young child" for sure. Her upset stomach and being tired could also be part of her crisis. She's running at top speed and her body can only take so much stress before it begins to tell her she needs to stop and rest.
Listen, listen and listen. Do not offer up advice unless she asks for it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for your advice. She said that she believes there is a boogie man at her house. She asked that if her dog and cat do not notice him that he is not there right? I agreed and told her to rest.
I have grown to a place of calm with no matter what is said or done. This has helped at work and parenting our sons. She is responding to me positively again. Hope without large expectations.
I found out today that my wife reached out to a former employee/close friend of ours. This person was like a sister to both of us. They had not talked in a few years. There was a lunch yesterday together. My wife told her of our separation, that we had disconnected and the gone south relationship with our oldest son.
This friend called me today to let me know of the lunch and conversation. She said my wife did not talk bad of me. She said that I am a great father and that she knows I love her. Our friend gave her sound advice. Advice my wife would have given a few years ago.
Try not to over analyze every move or comment that your wife makes. They all say and do things during the crisis that may or may not give you hope. Your wife knows that you love her and deep down she also knows that are a great husband and father. However, until the depressive fog lifts and she faces her childhood issues, she's going to be floating around for a bit.
As for advice from others, she may or may not listen to that advice. Sometimes, they will not continue to connect w/people who give advice. Hopefully the friend was gentle in giving the advice and really just listened to what she had to say. The key here is to listen and allow her to talk.
Dig deeper for patience and continue to keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
She called me late on the 4th of July to check in and see if I am still there. She told me that she was ending her pt job the because she is worn out and not making much money. She was in good spirits. I invited her to breakfast on Sunday, she quickly accepted. We had a good time together 3-4 hours. This was our first time together that was not part of another event. She gave me a good hug and kiss when she left.
I am making progress in my career. I feel inspired again for myself. Our youngest son is doing better and we are having fun together. My workouts are increasing with great results. Cycled 28 miles on Saturday at a good pace. In August I have a natural contest for over 50 men and a cycle race. These are for me!
My wife continues to give me mixed signals when we are together. At a family birthday party she wanted to go with me to pick up some items, helped me clean up after the meal and played (teased) with me a little. We had a great time with the family all together for the first time since the spring.
We have had some great conversations about handling conflict in a general since. She has shared some music with me and responds to my contact.
She and her mother will need to find a new place to rent by the end of Oct. I have offered for them to move in our family home. We have a nice, large home. I am fighting the motivation to let her know that if they rent for another year that I am done with standing.
