Well... this Tinder thing is definitely interesting. Have been chatting with a nice guy who looks a bit like Ryan Gosling... he likes my “sarcasm and my humour” and wants to meet me for coffee. He lives about an hour drive away so definitely doable. Who knows... I have no expectations. It does really feel like I am moving on though. Missing him less and less every day. Really dropping the rope this time, I think.
My sister called me today and told me she had just heard a song, “If My Heart Had a Heart” and said I could have written it. She was on the fence about telling me about it because she didn’t want to “set [me] back”. I listened to it. She’s right. I could have written it...about two months ago. It didn’t set me back.
My H texted me again today about the SA. Wanting to know if we were close to an agreement and he is starting to really panic that he won’t be able to find a house to buy and it has him “shaking at night”. Funny how he still expects me to make things happen for him so he can feel better. He never considered my feelings for all those years and now I am supposed to consider his? Seriously?!?
My SD19 called me tonight. Wanted to know if I thought her dad would help her financially because she was $150 short on her rent. Too scared to ask him. I texted him and he said he didn’t have any extra money to give but maybe by the end of the week. Sigh... she needs it tomorrow. So...I sent her the money. She has rarely, rarely asked us for money. Could have easily helped her if we were still together but this is the new reality. She was super grateful and told me she would pay me back [her mom kept a running tab of IOU’s] and I told her not to worry about it and that I will always help her if I can. She is coming to visit me for a couple days. Probably won’t call her dad. I’m leaving it up to her. Not my job anymore to help him with his relationship with her. He is on his own.
Two more weeks and my kids and I will be in San Diego. Cannot wait!!! Sun and fun!! Anyway...time for bed soon. Love and hugs to you all!!! xo
I am sorry at which the speed of the separation agreement is proceeding and glad at the same time. You will find comfort and peace with the security of the unwanted settlement. I understand the conflict of wanting and not wanting this agreement. Take solace with the knowledge of your limited pressing for this. H pushed for and got what he wanted. I believe someday he will realize it is a lot more than he bargained for.
Regarding SD19, I totally agree with helping her, when you are able to. I would not even ask H about it. You control you. If you want to help then do so, leave him out of it. If SD19 does not feel comfortable talking to her Dad, that’s fine. You should stay out of that relationship. I’ve got between my kids and their Mom, and paid the price.
Besides you should ensure a good relationship with SD19. Her asking you to ask her Dad - I see it as she was actually wanting to ask you (you are the sane and stable parent). Just tell her that. I am sorry you’re short $150, I am willing to loan it to you until payday. This creates your relationship, communication, and trust. Things SD19 needs more than money, and will not likely get from Dad for quite some time.
By the way, cleanly shaven, never wore a beard.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Great update DV! Glad you are enjoying Tinder and keeping up the "no expectations" DB mentality.
Isn't it great to have a vacation to look forward to? Enjoy the trip and the time with the kids!
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
Can I ask the guys out there a question?? What is with the full-bearded look these days? Honestly...the Grizzly Adams look is just not good, IMO. I sure hope this is a fad and men will start shaving again. Anyway...maybe it is just me and there are lots of women out there who love that look. No fun to kiss though, whether you like the look or not.
Good to know.
I keep a trimmed beard and mustache now. I shave every other day now versus every other week.
When I was with WW I let it grow grizzly and unkempt. That would make some sense as to why I was not getting kissed as much and the kissing went up a little after I shaved and trimmed.
There are a few (especially here) women that love the lumberjack look. Maybe it's a country thing.
I'm happy you are getting out there again, DV6. That shows the world that you are an amazing woman with so much to offer. The guy who you end up dating will feel like he is one of the luckiest men in the world.
San Diego sounds nice. I'm awaiting anxiously for warmer (above freezing) temperatures here. Maybe soon! Patience is a virtue .
Look at you with your tindering!! If nothing else, it's an entertaining distraction. Why are you surprised that people are interested in you? I'm not.
Anyway, you're a braver woman than me. I think I'm going to join a convent (do they do non religious convents ) so I'm going to have to do new romantic liaisons vicariously through you.
I think I'm going to join a convent (do they do non religious convents ) so I'm going to have to do new romantic liaisons vicariously through you.
Yorkie, I'd love to join a non-religious convent with you. Can we just read books, make communal meals for our sisters, and maybe have a glass of wine here or there?
LOL... you two are funny. So... hell hath frozen over, I have a date on Friday. A really cute country-music loving down-to-earth guy that thinks I’m hot...lmao. He actually thinks he will beat me at pool. The last guy that I dated (just before my H) said the same thing so we went to the local pool hall. I beat him 15 times in a row and then he gave up....lol. I probably won’t do that to this guy. Who am I kidding? Yes I will...lol. He lives about an hour’s drive away from me so we will probably meet in the middle somewhere. My only very shallow concern is that I don’t know how tall he is. When you are 5’10”, it makes a difference. Fingers crossed he is at least close to my height cause I have never been attracted to anyone that is more than an inch shorter than me. At the very least, I will make a new friend I think.
I texted my friend tonight to tell her about it and she was happy to hear that I am smiling again. It has been a road but I am really starting to remember just how badly my H treated me for four years and I know that I deserve better and that better is definitely out there. My friend that I texted is a manager in his school district and she told me that she saw him the other day. She thought he looked “very ashamed”. That made me sad to hear. I was always so quick to try to fix things for him in the past when he was upset or screwed up in some way. Not my job anymore. He has to find his way out of the hole he had dug on his own.
My SD19 arrived yesterday. Her mom brought her. My sister and SD’s sister also joined us so we had some fun checking out the OLD sites and talking about various things. Also polished off a couple of bottles of wine so we got a little silly. It was really great to laugh like that again.
Anyway.... late night for me and an early morning tomorrow so I’m heading to bed. Lots of love and (((HUGS))) to my fellow DBers!!
You deserve a great night out and I hope you have a blast. Definitely kick his butt at pool. Be 100% unapologetically DV. And then buy him a beer.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
My only very shallow concern is that I don’t know how tall he is. When you are 5’10”, it makes a difference. Fingers crossed he is at least close to my height cause I have never been attracted to anyone that is more than an inch shorter than me. At the very least, I will make a new friend I think.
What a perfect reason for him to invest in some new cowboy boots. Some have a bigger heel than others, I think. I don't know. I'm from the North
) so I'm going to have to do new romantic liaisons vicariously through you.