Last attempt. OrangeK v.2

[OrangeK]

Update:



Had hearing today for Protective Order against FIL.

EXW and FIL hired attorneys last min and filed for a continuance 2 days ago.

I declined the continuance, and it was brought up again today.
The Judge granted the continuance based on the fact that for the duration FIL is still barred by the PPO from seeing S3.



Sadly, I do not have a lawyer for this portion of things. I had a lawyer to help me with some of the divorce papers, im broke as a joke now. So back to Pro Se unfortunately. Honestly im not terribly worried though, her Lawyer team seemed to be scrambling for time and didn’t have their ducks in a row at all. One of the lawyers didn’t even show up today, as he is away on vacation. EXW hasn’t fully paid the retainer yet either.



FIL’s lawyer tried to play nice with me and ask me questions before the hearing in the waiting room. I polietley reminded him I would answer any questions he had inside the courtroom. He furrowed his brow and walked away. The other lawyer I spoke with on the phone last week got angry when I declined the continuance.
These 2 lawyers have seemed like they expect me to just do what they say, as they are lawyers and I am not.
I think they are used to opposing clients that are representing themselves as being pushovers.

Not this guy.

[JRuss]

Re the attorneys, it probably felt good to act as you did. But ask if you got a good result for your client (S3). The continuance was granted anyway as it was always going to be, but now the lawyer will remember the pro se guy who played tough guy hardball, and the other one will remember a guy who made him feel stupid for attempting small talk.

Previously, you had opposing attorneys not horribly motivated over a case they won't make any money on. Now you have at least two that may decide to toy with you, rake you over the coals on the stand and otherwise make things hard and complicated and expensive for you must because they can. Again, does that best serve S3?

I see here and in the events you relate here a man whose amygdala is dominating his life. Those feelings you describe as spiritual? No. They're simple, garden-variety anxiety attacks. The prolonged firing of the amygdala's fight/flight response. Going off repeatedly on posters trying to help you - part and parcel of the same overactive amygdala.

The best thing you said above is that you need to eat better and exercise. I'd add you need to throw in some sort of regular meditative practice. Those steps will get your amygdala back in its proper lane so it doesn't rule you life. More responding, less reacting -- make it your mantra.

[NicoleR]

Hi OrangeK, maybe you have gastritis like I do! It's exacerbated by stress. I hope everything works out for your son to be protected from your father-in-law. It seems like that's a huge battle to fight on top of getting divorced. I hope all the legal stuff can get settled soon. You deserve a break after all you've been through.

[OrangeK]

Court scheduled next hearing for protective order as a telephone conference for Early Jan.
Divorce will be finalized on 12/11/18, and neither of us filed objections to that finalizing.




Communication has been next to nonexistent. S3 is doing fine. Things with Mary are still good. Getting past the first honeymoon phase and just feeling normal.
Still need to work on sleep patterns and diet. I am tired all the time.
I believe EXW violated the protective order and brought S3 to see her father over the weekend, but I have not proof of this beyond S3 telling me he went there.

I will call the court for their advice on this on my lunch break. I tried to report it to the Cops over the weekend, and they said it was a civil matter and I had to talk to court about it. I am considering filing for temporary full custody as she clearly cant be trusted to follow the law.

Winter is setting in early and that always sux, plus it makes moving / saving money tough.



I Did get a good lead on a possible new apartment for me and S3. Hopefully that works out, in fact I should be hearing from the land lord today.



I am so. God damnn tired.

[neffer]

Well enjoy your tiredness getting some time to rest

Glad you are doing ok. Stay detached.

Concerning S3, there´s a difference between believing and having proofs. There are no greys there man, it´s black or white. Legal boundaries have been set, right? It´s ok to be worried.

Good you are moving forward and things are improving.

Stay strong O!

[OrangeK]

Had an awesome weekend with S3. Did a lot of holiday decorating. Things with mary are still going quite well.
Got a solid lead on a good new apartment I am hopeful for.
Next is to get a raise, and a new car.



Watch out 2019. The real orange is back.

[neffer]

Is that a threat?

Glad things are improving. Keep getting O v2 improved and with upgraded thermostat

Stay strong man!

[OrangeK]

Not v2. Did a factory reset to v1. V2 software was flawed.
The real orange has never posted here before today.
Nice to meet you all.

[OrangeK]

Its been a while Y'all.

Divorce Finalized Dec 11th. I have a great new apartment, S3 LOVES it. He is very happy and comforable, the transitions don't bother him like they used to at all. He is happy again. I love it. Mary and I celebrated 4 months of dating exclusively recently and that is all going really really well.
Work is also going much better.
I don't find myself desiring to know who what where when or why EX is doing anything.
So long as she is Mothering S3, i could care less.
Sad part is that She hasn't been 100% on the Mom Job.
Still in court over protective order against EX-FIL, although that looks to be done soon. No indication if the court will maintain the protective order or eliminate it.

Here it is in a nutshell.
I dont suffer from relapses of pain, regret or what if's any longer. Life is good.
S3 is happy and Healthy. Life is good.
My new apartment is nicer than the one EX and I shared, and its cheaper. Life is good.
Its closer to S3's school and my work. Life is good.
I have learned A LOT about myself. Life is good.
I really know who the REAL people in my life are. They love me and I love them. Life is good.
Mary just asked me to meet S3 soon. Life is good.
I smile and laugh again. Life is good.
I. Am. Genuinely. Happy.
LIFE. IS. GOOD.

Time and perspective folks. I am now approx 2 years since EX began cheating on me. 1.5 Years since i found out.
It feels like it was all last week.
2018 was a blur of pain and confusion.
To all the newbies who may be reading this, look back at my story. See how i struggled, fought and kicked.
Trust the vets when they say this is a marathon. its more than that. Its a war of attrition.

Trust yourself. Trust your loved ones. Give yourself time.
The Great Magnet spins regardless, don't miss out on the ride.
Enjoy the view. Those who enter your lives do so for a reason, so too do they leave your lives.

[SteveLW]

OK, great update. Happy for you brother! I will continue to pray for you and S3.

Not sure if you have read my threads at all lately, but I've been struggling a bit. Piecing is a lot harder than I ever imagined. I just hope it works out because for me to get your place would probably mean I am 2 years away from if and when another BD ever occurred. No indication right now one will, but wow this stuff weighs on you.

So happy for you being so happy! Hope you had a very Merry Christmas and wish you the best in the New Year!