Is there hope? I have a WW

[LANE777]

Hello Friends.
Lane here. Sorry I disappeared for a minute. However, I wanted to come back and check up on some old friends and I guess give you all my update. Just a refresher. My wife left me 1 year ago on May 21. I was a devastated mess. It took a few months to find this forum but glad I did. During that time I sat and moped around for days and weeks. It was the worst summer of my life. The only thing that kept me going was my kids. I had to be there for them and I had tons of encouragement from people here. If there is anyone new reading this and is broken beyond belief. I promise you that life will get better. My WAW is long gone. I decided about October last year that I didn't want to live my life like this ever. It took a few months of forcing my self to get out and get that life that we all hear about. So the Holidays came and went. I was pulling my self together slowly but surely. The soon to be ex needed a kidney transplant and got it done during the holiday and I had the kids the whole time. When she returned she recovered fast and is now healthy and back working.
My children really needed me while she was gone for 2 months and I can say I did a dam good job. I did all the x-mas and it was the best they have ever had. She was so determined to get the D pushed through last fall and I didnt want it. Right now we are not divorced and its to the point I keep asking her when can we get it done, We get along really good. She still has her boyfriend and to be honest I really don't care about that as much as I did. I don't necessarily hearing about him or about all the fancy trips they go on. But it is what it is and I'm not interested in dealing with it anymore. In my weakest moments I thought I could wait it out. What was I thinking?! So here is my life now. I feel like I'm in a good spot. I have allot of freedoms. I have my children. I have some extremely good friends and family that have been there for me. I don't sit home and think myself to death. I have had more fun and feel alive again. I do miss the life I once had. It was good. But I don't want her back. I'm not even seeing anyone to fill that void. Shes fading away and I'm okay. So how did I get through this? I didn't try to go around it. I didn't try to go over it. I WENT THROUGH IT! I muscled through it famously. When they say GAL. It means get out and go do things even though I didn't feel like it. Everything is different and adjusting [censored] but its been worth it. I used to think about it non stop. Now I'm thinking of way more positive and healthy thoughts. I met some really really good people that have gone through it as well. Some are way better than talking to any counselor guaranteed. Anyways, I know this is getting long. More than anything, I wanted all my db friends to know I am alive and doing super good. I also want to encourage anyone NEW on here to listen up to some of the vets here. I read all of Sandi's stuff and then had some great people come in and help. Just listen. I am telling you. Don't waste another day chasing someone who left me for another person. My attraction to her is slipping big time. Its sad that its all over but also exciting I get a fresh start. If any of you new comers have questions. I'm here for you. I made so many mistakes but it didn't matter even at the time or now. The outcome is exactly what it is meant to be. I'm thinking our paper will be filed this month. I cant wait believe it or not. 1 YEAR ago I wish I had a crystal ball to show me its all okay. That's it for now.I will be back more often to help anyone. Have a great weekend all. And new people, get out and do something even if its for an hour or 2. Peace!

[97Hope]

Hi lane! Thanks for the encouragement. I'm glad you are in a good place. I'm stuck on GAL. I don't know what to do with myself. Right not I'm commuting an hour and 1/2 to work 5 days a week and I"m tired by the time I get home. So weeknights I don't care that I'm not doing anything.
I quit drinking don't want to go to a bar or anything. I can't think of anything I'd like to do. I've been married for 23 years. 3 kids (only 1 left at home s17) and we do things together, but I'm really struggling finding what I'd like to do. We moved here 3 years ago and all of our friends here are "our" friends.
Any advice on what to do when you don't want to do anything?

Also, I'd love any advice if you have time to read my sitch.

Thanks again for the update. It's good to see someone on the other side.

[neffer]

It’s about living at peace with ourselves. We can include reading a good book into GAL. Just enjoying ourselves as free healthy people. Not a piece of cake I know (look whos’s saying it...)

Looking at the future with no fear but confidence. Always moving forward.

Stand strong there Lane and Hope. Live into reality. Facing forward. Honor and respect.

[97Hope]

Thanks, neffer. Your words of encouragement help.

[SoTorn]

Exactly what nef said. GAL doesnt mean going out all the time. It can mean just sitting quietly and reading a book. Watching YouTube videos. You can enjoy the little things as well.