you are getting played so hard. Everything you type is about her. Your W is not the same person you married, don't you see that? She is cheating right? Would you have married her if you knew that was going to happen?
Does your W work? You need to talk to a lawyer about cutting off funds. Do that this week please. Then be strong, you're not going to "nice her" back to the MR.
Your WW said "WE" need money. AKA she needs the money. But, but, but.... "she" needs space. She wants your money and for you to go away so she can sleep with the OM and have fun. And so far you are being a quiet little mouse.
Quit worrying about "getting the truth". You're getting lied to, sooooo "believe nothing they say and only half of what they do". REMEMBER THIS SAYING.
GAL should be easy without contact from your cheating wife - make it happen. You are so attached to her and I can see it from outer space, I guarantee your WW knows which is why she told you to piss off and pay her.
Find your strength and let go of this terrible person, she isn't going to magically become nice overnight and want to come back to the MR. You need to detach. Reread Cadet's links.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Hi ovrrnbw Yeah i know man,unfortunately im thick and delusional in thinking my W was different somehow lol. She can be pretty convincing about not sleeping with anyone but all the signs point in that direction.
WW works, ive never asked how much she earns, though its not enough to cover the bills and her current lifestyle. The problem with cutting her off is im paying half the rent for the house we lived in together,D is still there with WW . D can live at IL. I dont want my D to look at me as crappy father(W and MIL have already painted a grim portrait of me)D seems brainwashed. 9months ago i was the best SIL,father ect ect in the MIL eyes but now im the scum of the earth since her D betrayed me.
The last i spoke to WW i told her im sick of being manipulated,lied to,and being used,treated like a doormat....she had some choice words then hung up...no contact since!! I would have still married W but would of treated her better than i did,i totally see me mistakes in the marriage and really wished she would have stayed and worked things out with me,pretty sure that boat has sailed forever.
Yeah i know its bugging me to no end not knowing what the hell is going on in her life with who,but i know theres nothing i can do to get the truth from her...atm she would convince me the sky full of flying pigs and i would believe her...ugh...but i know shes full of chit!!! lol i cant believe she has such a hold on me...i guess its because i love her so much!! quiet silly how one can be decieved so much in the name of love.
I agree with you 100% Im so transparent atm its ridiculous!!!! Shes all over me,always is two steps ahead too.
I want to let her go,i know she is being influenced by her divorced/single friends and her evil best friend(no excuses for WW but she can be easily led by others)
I know many LBS ask this question....ill go there too lol.Should i just give up on WW or fight for our marriage,a new R with her.I dont like this new selfish person she is but i know there is something left of the old her tucked away somewhere.
From reading my sitch....am i flogging a dead horse? Despite whats happened i still love her and kind of feel sorry for her that she cant see that shes fcking her own life up aswell as our D's. I love the woman and want to save our R by Db ect...I know its her decision and cant do a damn thing about it but has anyone seen a bad sitch like mine turn around and have a happy ever after?
I think im in dreamland though right ?
Thanks for your input ovrrnbw as usual you put my chaotic brain into focus again. I really need support of others in this place,i would chime in on others threads but am in no position to give any advice as i dont know what the hell to do in my own crisis atm,but i really wish all the best to everyone in their darkest hrs and hope for the best outcomes for you all.
How do i find cadets links and sitch from day one?
I was thinking of putting enough money in WW account for food(D eats at IL 99% of the time) and giving D a bankcard for whatever she needs,cutting the wive out of the picture. That would pisss the W off as she would stuggle without the help from me.It feels like im being spiteful though... but yeah she needs to deal with the mess she has created on her own i guess. Worried it will push her that bit closer towards OM, and blame me even more about not being there to support my family. Who am i kidding it cant get much worse!
I was thinking of putting enough money in WW account for food(D eats at IL 99% of the time) and giving D a bankcard for whatever she needs,cutting the wive out of the picture. That would pisss the W off as she would stuggle without the help from me.It feels like im being spiteful though... but yeah she needs to deal with the mess she has created on her own i guess. Worried it will push her that bit closer towards OM, and blame me even more about not being there to support my family. Who am i kidding it cant get much worse!
So you think you can pay her to stay away from OM? How has that been working so far?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Hi Steve lol nothing will keep her away from OM/Men shes a social media whore now,loooves the attention off anyone willing to show it..i know that im dense but not dumb. I meant stop paying her to keep her afloat...i love her so much but kind of want to see her sitch fall apart.
Hi Steve lol nothing will keep her away from OM/Men shes a social media whore now,loooves the attention off anyone willing to show it..i know that im dense but not dumb. I meant stop paying her to keep her afloat...i love her so much but kind of want to see her sitch fall apart.
I think you missed the point:
You said: "Worried it will push her that bit closer towards OM, and blame me even more about not being there to support my family."
Sounds like it can't get any worse, so why keep paying her to do what she is doing?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Who knows if she'll come out of it or not. She hasn't truly forgotten about those 20 years, but her fog is the opposite of yours.
She may come out of it if you allow her to though.
Hi ovrrnbw Thanks for that,theres no contact at all between us now...things are looking pretty bleak feels like she is gooonne for good. I know GAL...Its hard and im definately not ready to let go but i feel like the punchline of her and her friends,O/M joke... I get so anxious and somewhat annoyed when i do talk to her though..I dont but do want her still lol.
Saw C today.... She said W will come around and its just a temporary thing that is going on,just use a bit of reverse psychology on her...I feel im getting far better guidence from you folks that are in the trenches with me.
The struggle is real!!
Decided to cut all money from W . When she contacts me about it im going to say 1. it was her decision to live this way and i will no longer be helping finance her new life. 2. D will get a bank card for anything she needs. As much as i want to mention her moving on with someone else i wont!!
I have some questions for Sandi i hope you read this... How do i find the balance to let W know that i care and want to be with her without being clingy or needy and being strong letting her know im not her little B#%ch anymore?
Should i just leave her and D alone and not pursue seeing D but rather wait till D wants to see me.Its clear in my mind D is on mums side(i hate saying like its W against myself) I message D all the time but barely get a reply. Im pretty sure D lies for W and hides the truth from me which breaks my heart.I use to see MIL do the same thing to FIL . Wife had become a product of her environment and now D is following in the family tradition aswell...D and W knows i cant stand liars,is that a reason why they both do lie to me fear of being called out for lying?
Are things that screwed up at this point i dont know what whether this is all just a waste of time and i should give up and walk away.
