I had to re-type because copying and pasting from microsoft word isn't working out right now.
Please yall care for me like you do with the others. I have found lots of great advice being given.
Technically separated a year come June. The first part was within the home and the last six months outside of the home. He moved out. May is our anniversary month. However, I don't think we are going to make it.
Hubby has always been a bit controlling. However, the last few years he has also became an angry and disrespectful. What I mean by that is, when he is angry, there is name calling, there is him telling me I'm not a good mom or wife, he is talking bad about my family. Just plain old ugliness.
So we had been doing ok being in separate homes but that would not be my long term preference. I don't know what to make of the situation.
One minute he wants us to still be a family, including the marriage, and live in separate places. So in other words keep helping each other and do stuff together. Then the next he wants to move back home but test the water by staying one day out of the week because he is not ready. Weeks later since I did not agree to those terms he asked about being good friends or friends with benefits. I said no to the latter but would consider friendship after divorce so everyone will know where they stood. He said we could be friends without divorce.
Few weeks later he is confessing his undying love for me after seeing me in a pajama set with shorts. Then by the weekend, he is angry and saying he is coming to get remainder of this stuff and that this time he really is done. He is upset because I would not agree to help him with something that would not benefit us as a family but only him individually.
So his verbal attack started over the phone. He hung up and then continued through text. The next morning I had a change of heart and told him I would help.
He sulked and said he wanted no more parts of me and he was going to get bits and pieces of his stuff over the next few weeks until he has everything. I told him no, to take the bandage off and get it done in one day. Get it over with. So I have been putting his *** in boxes.
He doesn't want me to be here when he come. I told him that I will be here to see that he chose to walk out rather than work on this issues first and then ours together. I told him I'll also be filing for divorce once he leaves but then again, why should I be the one file? He is the one who is choosing to leave the marriage and not work.
At times, I want my marriage if he could make that final change. he has overcome much during our marriage already (from being a drunk to sober, from a heavy smoke to almost quitting with e-cigs). But then again I'm headed for 46 and not getting any younger so maybe I'm losing patience.
Why continue to wait when maybe down the line I could met someone who would respect me and love me. Or just be by myself (me, myself, and I - and our two teens).
So I'm conflicted about it all especially about the divorce. Talk to me somebody.
Me-45,H-56 DD: 18 DS: 15 M:18 T:23 H moved out:11/2017
