thank you, sandi2... i appreciate that... i have been reading your contributions since circa March 2015, and it is kind of strange to be in here now, after all this time! when i first started reading, the posters at that time were Heavy-D, RD500, Pink, Elly, Bob, Jelly Bean, Sherman 333, Mozza (who i thought seemed really cool and wise beyond his years)... etc... i would read their situations, get so mad at their spouses--all the while realizing i was guilty of what their spouses were doing to them... there have been many times when i would, in my head, say, "i hope sandi2 comes to give this guy her two cents."
So great that you're sharing your story, Artista. Did you H do things to push you away, i.e. reasoning, talking about R, that contributed to you physically separating so far away across the country? Or was it something you would've done regardless?
We were separated at the time, but still very connected... My father, who was 89 at the time, had just suffered an aortic aneurysm... miraculously, he survived, but it was traumatic for my family. My H was supportive... I was not in an actual affair during this time... We both thought it would be good for me to get away... My H thought something was wrong with me... Since my niece (who is my age and like a sister to me) knew of our issues, I felt safe going to stay with her for a few weeks... Which turned in to 18 months...
At the time I asked my H if he was just trying to send me away... He assured me he wasn't... But after all was said and done, that is what he was doing... He knew he needed to be away from me and saw this as the only real way it could happen...
Tread, I did not come back to my husband... I came back because my daddy was going to have gall bladder surgery... When I came back, we all decided that I would stay and live with my parents to help them with every day things... Today they are 91 and 94, in good health but cannot drive and run errands, stuff like that... while I lived with my niece and her family, I felt sheltered... like I was at a retreat... I was ready to face my life head on, to be with my sons--who needed me...
Sorry about my confused wording... We are together... Since April 2015... About 8 months after I returned... My siblings and I work together to be there for my parents, who are visiting Las Vegas now to bring in the New Year--along with one of my sisters and her husband, and my two brothers and their wives...
Hi Artista I think we will all be interested in the dynamics of your reconciliation, although, of course, all situations are individual and nuanced. Was it a "natural" process as such or was there a dramatic change of circumstances?
thank you
Me 55, W 50 D 8 M 20 T 27 MIL w/ us BD 01/02/17 workplace A (12/09/16, EA -> PA) OM senior manager, long term W, child 14 now: limbo (my choice)
"Don't care what you may do, we got that attitude!" - Bad Brains
Hi Artista I think we will all be interested in the dynamics of your reconciliation, although, of course, all situations are individual and nuanced. Was it a "natural" process as such or was there a dramatic change of circumstances?
thank you
One thing about me that may not be so helpful to LBHS here is, I am not one to lie to myself... I never rewrote history, I never used my H's shortcomings to justify my infidelity... In essence, I own my $h!t... He was not perfect, and he left me wanting at times, but we had a very good marriage... He didn't deserve the pain I caused... He would never have thought that I would ever do what I did... While we were separated and I had a couple of relationships, one being very serious that lasted about 18 months, in the back of my mind, I felt that these relationships were inauthentic... Not the real thing like my marriage was... Even though I saw myself having a life with that serious relationship, it still seemed not quite true...
I never saw myself ending up with the initial OM...
