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Joined: Nov 2017
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MStarr Offline OP
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Well he made some comments again about moving on with the process, so I told him I have an attorney that specializes in collaborative divorce and that I would like to do that. I told him that I had thought mediators help determine what's fair and that they only facilitate conversations. I sent him a link with info on collaborative divorce process.

At the end of the email I said "I am utterly heartbroken, I would have done anything to save our marriage". I haven't been emotive at all in several months, so I thought it was ok to do this.

He replied back: "I am also utterly heartbroken".


I feel like this is a typical MLC response because it always has to be about him.

I have spent a lot of time on self reflection, but I have taken it way too far to the point of incessant self flagellation.

He seems utterly done, but because he has been so cruel these past few months, I might be too.


DB August 6, 2017 after 3 month separation
Me: 54
H: 58
Two Teenage sons
Living Separately from H
Married 19 years, together 22 years
Not sure if this is an MLC or WAS
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MStarr, I really feel for you. I know even with the separation and everything else, how it must hurt. I hope you are doing some self-care and finding new activities are going back to ones you stopped doing.


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MStarr Offline OP
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Thanks FastCars. I am really being good about self care and GAL. I guess there's just no way for this not to be super tough. Just a process I have to go through. I have no idea how my best friend turned into a complete stranger that can't seem to stand me.

I think I'm going through the hopeless/depression phase of grief.


DB August 6, 2017 after 3 month separation
Me: 54
H: 58
Two Teenage sons
Living Separately from H
Married 19 years, together 22 years
Not sure if this is an MLC or WAS
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