So in a nutshell, BD was nov 4th,2016...had a great summer vacation, and when we got back, from sep. 1st walking on eggshells everyday, he clammed up! So I was trying to stay out of his hair as the beginning of the school year is always difficult, he`s a school teacher! 1 week in Oct he was a little normal, then out of nowhere, wants a divorce direct he`s interested in someone else, but hasen`t acted on it yet....until the next day, left the house at 4pm without a word and came back 6am the next morning, down hill since then!
Married for 22 years, together 26! We all have ups and downs, but I thought we were solid! So the house sold in 5 days, signed a paper at the notary so he could put a bid on a much smaller house for him, signed papers at the lawyer Dec22nd! Should be final between April and June! Found this site in Jan! Made many mistakes, begging and such, and at times still can`t hold back the tears! Problem is he`s now living with OW, stares at me with beadie eyes, I don`t know who he is anymore!
Loved my husband so much, but fear all is lost, and to top it off am an American living in Paris for the last 22 years! So packing up to go home! His family have not contacted me since Nov. If this process didn`t take so long, I would stay! But reading everything on this site, I don`t think my health could take years of this! Lost 22kilo`s in 7 weeks, down to 51. Didn`t weigh that when I was 13 years old. So been taking advice and forcing myself to get out and see people, and trying to GAL, very difficult. So my question is Could this be an exit affair, or full blown MLC. We were happy, and this OW met him in Jan 2016 playing music, brass band stuff, they don`t even get paid, but play alot! The whole group went on vacation to play music for 10 days in June 2016.
He really does seem to be depressed and in torment!
I will stand for my marriage but from afar in the US. And pray for a reconnection!
Last edited by Cadet; 03/16/1709:12 PM. Reason: carriage returns for readability
Me 51 H 52 OW39 M 22 years Together 26 BD nov 2016 H living with OW Feb 2017
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Thanks for the info....have read so much already....Keeping hope for the long haul! Have to detach better when I see him, although I never call or text, E mailed once since nov! Usually only ask about the health of his parents! But sometimes I crack!
Me 51 H 52 BD nov 2016 OW39 M 22 years Together 26 H living with OW Feb 2017 Divorce final in the next few months
Me 51 H 52 OW39 M 22 years Together 26 BD nov 2016 H living with OW Feb 2017
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
