I don't know all of your circumstances but you have to figure out what is right for you. Read DR chapter 9, the second story of Carol. Her H was in an A with a woman and she chose to be his friend through it and they achieved success. This was the story in the book that I felt was most like mine.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Hi there, I would leave it a good while and either reply - I'm sorry you feel that way & hope your day improved....or just don't reply.
For me (I'm a bit of a recovering nice girl) I always struggled with the non-reply - I could just never do it!!! Isn't that rude? I would think - as though having an A and running off with OW wasn't rude...
Also, in my sitch I found myself on the receiving end of XH telling me how OW wasn't very nice to him and was cold sometimes when he had travelled all that way to see her. I didn't manage to deal with that during the convo when it happened - but next time we spoke I told him I was his wife and not his friend, and I couldn't be a listening ear to his complaints about OW. He took that on board for sure.
Who knows - things may be somewhat rocky with OM this weekend. But I tell you, XH and OW split up and got back together 4 or 5 times to my knowledge, so don't set much store by it.
I hope you do genuinely have some nice plans today. If not - do get yourself out of the house, switch off your phone for a bit and enjoy some me time.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
W Texted me a little while ago and asked if I had plans today, because if not she could come over to give one of our dogs a haircut. I responded Sorry, plans today. She said "anything fun?" Then a few minutes later "nevermind, you dont have to tell me". Then a few minutes later "its been a while since I've seen you and I've told you I don't hate you anymore. I also lost my best friend in all of this"
What do you make of all of this?
Well done I think your doing well,see how they like being pushed away,some of them seem to think the world revolves round them,it doesent ,and when they need a quick fix they run to us,its all about there needs,not ours,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
Well, unfortunately my plans got cancelled so I decided to clean the garage instead. W texted me a little while ago and asked if she could come pick the dog and haircut supplies up and bring the dog back later. I told her my plans got cancelled so she can do whatever. So, I suppose she may be coming over in a bit. Other than looking my best and being happy/positive, any suggestions?
Ok, disregard. Postponed for a couple weekends. I can't be sure, and it may be mind reading but I thinks she is upset with me about something. I did find it interesting that she said she doesn't hate me anymore....I didn't know that she ever hated me. Trying not to read too much into it though. I sure do miss my best friend though...but I have no idea where she went.
Yesterday was a real rough day all around. Motorcycle battery was dead so I got a jump. Road it hard for a bit to try to get the battery to charge, but didn't realize my fuel petcock was set to reserve and ran out of gas. Had to push the motorcycle about a mile and a half to get gas, and then the battery was still dead. Got a jump at the gas station, get the motorcycle home and begin taking battery out. A spring loaded clip flies of and hits me in the temple where I now have a big swollen bruise. Then working out last night I hurt my back doing deadlifts. Then I had tons of dreams about W and about OM. They just wouldn't stop. Yesterday absolutely sucked!!!!!!!!!!!
I have this incessant feeling of need to take some kind of action relatively soon. I understand this would not be advisable so that's why I am venting about it. I feel like I have waited long enough for W to come to her senses. It really makes me angry that she has pretty much moved on to another relationship while I sit idly by waiting to see if she comes back (in regards to a relationship,not GAL). I feel like it's time to apply pressure.
Yesterday was a real rough day all around. Motorcycle battery was dead so I got a jump. Road it hard for a bit to try to get the battery to charge, but didn't realize my fuel petcock was set to reserve and ran out of gas. Had to push the motorcycle about a mile and a half to get gas, and then the battery was still dead. Got a jump at the gas station, get the motorcycle home and begin taking battery out. A spring loaded clip flies of and hits me in the temple where I now have a big swollen bruise. Then working out last night I hurt my back doing deadlifts. Then I had tons of dreams about W and about OM. They just wouldn't stop. Yesterday absolutely sucked!!!!!!!!!!!
I had days like that,dam horrible as if we haven't got enough on out plates Try and keep or chin up my friend,
I have this incessant feeling of need to take some kind of action relatively soon. I understand this would not be advisable so that's why I am venting about it. I feel like I have waited long enough for W to come to her senses. It really makes me angry that she has pretty much moved on to another relationship while I sit idly by waiting to see if she comes back (in regards to a relationship,not GAL). I feel like it's time to apply pressure.
And yes I agree with you get on with your life like she is doing,we have all done the waiting game hoping they will see sense m,but you have to draw a line at some stage,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
Well, to be fair, "like she is doing" is with another partner. I would be breaking my marriage vows if I did that. Plus, I still have too many feelings for her to involve another person in any romantic/emotional way. Although, I do feel like it would ease the pain, it would be a huge injustice to whoever was on the receiving end of that relationship right now.
Just hurting and venting. Tired of being lonely and it's only been 5 months.
One huge accomplishment: Yesterday marks 5 months with no alcohol. That is a huge milestone, especially with everything that has been going on.
