Way too late? Pt4

[1313]

Journaling:
Today was the court SOC date. We chopped stuff up. Wife gets the house, I get to keep my trust and properties, and have 2 years to refinance since I'm technically fired from husband and job at the same time.

WW tried to talk to me, not sure what about other than giving me some sort of "be friends" $#%*. I said that we either work it out, or she's dead to me. No middle ground. She said she's not staying married to me, I said goodbye.

It's been incredibly depressing to think about what's being liquidated, and all of a sudden I've been given an insane amount of debt to get rid of in 6 months, where selling one piece of art (that I bought when we got married and she had no job) will help the WW get rid of some of hers. I'm supposedly coming out ahead on this - but I sure don't feel like it.

There's going to be an arbitrator hired, which is supposed to speed things up and be far faster than a court appointed judge. I'd almost rather drag it out - but felt so beat up I just agreed. It will be less money. Divorce stinks.

Oh, BTW the WW looked terrible. She's aged a lot. Wish that made me feel better, it doesn't.

[Ralph88]

Hugs and prayers for you. You're gonna make it through to the other side, and be much better!!!

[Painter]

It sounds like a depressing experience, and icky, which it often is.

Was anything decided about your dog?

[CWOL]

1313,
Sorry about what happened, but I guess it's better to have finality and closure than to be hanging by her ambiguous words. (Dangling Plan Michele in front of you, etc.)

How long did it take you to get to this place from her filing for D to now? I am not looking forward to this at all.

[J5K]

Sorry to hear about the experience. I am praying for you.

[otw]

I'm sorry

[1313]

Hi everyone, thanks for the thoughts. Let me go down the list of Q's...

Painter, yeah - I'm in a major funk for the moment. Cutting up 30 years of stuff like a hunk of meat with 2 L's who could give a @#%&...

The dog - it appears we're going to share, a week on and a week off. When that starts, who knows. I do know the dog isn't being cared for as she should, and it's kind of shocking. The fact she was sooo overweight and had an eye-ulcer. I honestly gasped and started crying when I saw her, for a moment I thought her eyes had turned white and she was going blind from age/heart failure. She could barely wake up. Then I could see it was just one eye, and terribly bloodshot. I mean, come on!

CWOL, yeah - I figured she was playing games, and still is. Or who knows. I don't care. She was down that "friends" path before. You know what? I've been fired as husband AND friend. My best friend as a matter of fact. Doing everything she can to #$%* me over. Nice.

In CA, they say it takes 6 months, it looks like we're on schedule. The WW filed on 1/8, I found out 1/11, and it was accepted around the 18th or so.

However, 6 months would NOT be the case if I were to have asked for a court appointed judge to look at our assets instead of a guy we pay for and both parties agree to. The L said that they have a backlog of weeks and weeks, and if one little thing has a Q, it goes back to the end of the line. I almost asked for that - but it would cost a LOT more in the longrun, as who knows what the WW might suddenly think next week.

Ralph, JimKao, I'll take those prayers, and send some back.

otw, thanks - it's very stressful, I can't believe one human being could do this to another (after 35 years of life together), but here we are.

[otw]

1313
These are the moments I normally avoid on the boards. I am not good at these moments for others.

So it is something I'm trying to get outside my comfort zone on.

Let me bore you for a minute and hopefully occupy your mind at least!

I was raised my a single mom. Dad was bad for a period I don't remember well except the worst. He was in my life growing up but from 6 hours away. People I tell the story to can't believe it. He is the complete opposite of what was when all happened. I guess that goes to show we can all change no matter what.

Anyway. Mom made miracles for me and sister. Honestly don't know how. No real education no high paying job but I can't remember going without. Even expensive things like top of line stuff for sports.

She had a bad run with men. Few were in our lives and left an impression on me that I would never be.

I gained all my thoughts about how to act from coaches and bosses at jobs.

So it is hard for me to show a sensitive side. Obviously got better when my first born baby girl showed up. I think she melted me a bit.

Anyway. I know I am not the most vocal compassionate person but when. I read this my heart hurts.

The thing that kills me is that your situation is fairly fresh and Moved so fast. I have a hard time understanding after all you guys have been through that decisions can be made on her end. I know she had prob had things coming for a while but how can you not give totaled some time just allow and see how they pan out.

My heart hurts for you. I know right now you detest her for this but that is right now. Please don't let that own you. Be better. Know what you would have given. She will deal with hers. It will be ugly when she gets there

I guess grieve be angry then forgive and forget.

Take things light

[Phoebe]

I'm so sorry to hear how things are playing out 1313. It really is moving so quickly. My heart aches for you, too.

((((1313))))

[CWOL]

1313,

I am very sorry to hear all that you are going through. I'm trying to process what my WW is trying to extract from me. I really don't understand the lack of remorse or guilt now, after her L got to her. In the beginning I think there was some there, as she asked to separate, "I don't need any of your money, I'll just live simply by myself." Now it's game on, any strategy to get an additional penny she'd deploy. Never mind she's already getting half my check.

I think in her head she re-wrote history and made me appear to be a horrible husband, to cover up her own infidelity. I just hate the fact that the Waywards no only can get away with it, they can actually abuse and take more from the Betrayed spouse. It really riles me any time I think about this, and looking at your situation I have a good idea what I'll be dealing with...