This morning WW threw a tantrum. What should I do?
So, kids sitting at table eating breakfast, WW heads out the house door and turns to me and says, "don't need to move the car.. I am taking it today". I reply in a firm voice, "no, I prefer you not take the car" and follow her out the door. She jumps into the car. I told her I don't know where she goes when she leaves the house (over a year ago she told me she had early work meetings but learned via cell GPS she was going over to OM house which she confirmed.. PA) and I don't intrude on her privacy. She gave me a funny look and said "now you keeping your phone with you and are placing it face down" ($h!t that's what she does.. I just chose to not let that bother me anymore.. I am working on me). So.. I get down to her eye level and calmly tell her, "I am here for the kids.. and I need to do what's right for the kids and me" (I can't pull her out of the car so I walk away back into house and close the entry door.. she follows saying.. I just wanted to see your reaction.. opens the entry door and throws the car key fob into the house.. (my boys see her throw the keys.. clearly a tantrum).
It sounds like guilt. You caught her on the spot and didnt give in. My WW comes up with childish excuses. She once went to an exhibition saying she liked the cartoons in the exhibition. Cartoons she would not have had any rememberance as she was in a different country. But what happens she bumps into OM. Small world. And I am stupid. Well yes I acted stupid otherwise conflict.
Your message was about you not her so pretty nice
Me: 43, W: 43 M: 16, T: 18 D - 7, D - 7 ILUB: 26 August 2014 Still living together
It sounds like guilt. You caught her on the spot and didnt give in. My WW comes up with childish excuses. She once went to an exhibition saying she liked the cartoons in the exhibition. Cartoons she would not have had any rememberance as she was in a different country. But what happens she bumps into OM. Small world. And I am stupid. Well yes I acted stupid otherwise conflict.
Your message was about you not her so pretty nice
Me: 43, W: 43 M: 16, T: 18 D - 7, D - 7 ILUB: 26 August 2014 Still living together
I think you are correct, WillDo. She was caught off guard but she retaliated..
That night, after I put the kids to bed WW tells me in a sarcastic tone that I better check my bank account. She took $,$$$ from a joint account we used to pay bills but she stop contributing to this account nearly 5 months ago. I felt as though she was robbing me again.. so I had all intentions to take on the defense the next day but..
The very next morning my dog was not well and I had to take him to the vet. Long story short we had to put my dog down (13 year old lab). It was a VERY emotionally hard thing to do. My WW and I both were there.. this put a damper into my defensive move that day.
Saturday, after kids went to bed WW tells me that she is going out. She left the house at 10pm and returned 1am. She tells me she went over to her girlfriend's house.. like I am suppose to believe that. True or not.. I cannot let myself believe her I need to stand strong for me and my kids.
This morning, I so happened to look in my dresser drawer where I kept my wedding ring. It's gone!! I am certain my kids did not take it and 99.9% sure WW did. We haven't fought or argued about MR so what the heck?!? Should I confront her on it?
I feel that the wedding ring is mine NOT hers to decide. She chooses not to wear her wedding ring that's fine. I don't wear mines. But don't take it away from me.. those are my memories. I don't interfere or ask about her where abouts (let her be).. the bulk of our conversations are about our kids so why did she take my ring?
I feel that the wedding ring is mine NOT hers to decide. She chooses not to wear her wedding ring that's fine. I don't wear mines. But don't take it away from me.. those are my memories. I don't interfere or ask about her where abouts (let her be).. the bulk of our conversations are about our kids so why did she take my ring?
That is weird. This is YOUR ring you're talking about, right? Are you sure she took it? I would just ask her if she's seen it and see what she says.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
I am 99.9% it was in my drawer when I last saw it.
Several months ago, when she took her ring off and gave it to me I placed it with mine in the drawer. Then after a talk/argument about our MR she apparently went into my drawer and took the ring back without saying anything. I let that go.
The same drawer has letters she wrote to me while we were dating and newly weds. That too, after a talk/argument she went into that same drawer and took those letters (I so happen to find the letters in the trash can and got them back.. fortunately S8 did not do his chore of picking up trash..otherwise it would have been thrown out).
Perhaps you are correct that I should ask rather than accuse.
Yesterday WW left her cell phone, face up, on the kitchen counter while she went to take a shower. Kids and I were eating dinner. Her phone rings and its OM (his name displays). For the first time I was not anxious. I let the event go, I made no mention of it and did nothing in response. I am slowly letting go.. and working on me.
Today I am feeling so alone. Not sure if I shared here but WW and I had to put our dog down due to cancer 2 weeks ago (13 yo lab). WW asked for a paw print of dog as a remembrance and I respect that wish. This morning, I went to the vet clinic to settle bill and pickup clay paw print but the animal clinic screwed up. I did not blow up at the receptionist handling my bill but I shared my frustration with WW on phone as I left the vet clinic. After I hung up with WW I realized it was a sign of weakness but I honestly had no one else to talk to at that moment who would understand the situation.. my life stinks!!
