Job, I had a great time in NOLA, thanks. Nothing too crazy, just some fun with girlfriends, 10 of us in all. We saw parades, went to a blues club, did a city tour, maybe partied a wee bit.
Originally Posted By: Maybell
Sunny, I salute you for being able to show such generosity to Mr. P. What happened to the duck that he's willing to let you make him cake & ice cream? Sorry if I missed a key development in there somewhere.
Maybell, you didn't miss anything. I don't know the status of the duck. I also don't care. Mr. P spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with us, too, not sure where she was.
Originally Posted By: Zues126
I have zero dating advice.
Zues, I don't need dating advice, I'm doing fine. But when you are ready to date, then you call me.
That's it, sorry there's not more to say. I'll try to check in on other people's threads later.
Hi folks! I don't really have a lot to say, just wanted to update before my thread fell totally out of the picture. LOL
In the legal front, we've applied for a court date. At this point, that's just a formality. It will be a joint petition and joint answer, everything has been signed already. My M of 26 years will be over in a matter of minutes once a judge sees it. I'm not going to the court date. We still have some things to do with titles and finances, so that's an outstanding item.
My life is busy with work and friends and dating. This Valentines Day was the best I've had in years, some of you might remember a couple stories I've told about past ones. This year I felt wanted and appreciated. That's nice.
Dating is going well, but it's not without learning experiences. I'm a little jealous of Maybell who seems to have settled in with Mr. New Guy and introduced him to the fam. I'm not there yet. I am really happy with the guy I'm dating now, but he has 4 kids, the youngest is 9 (he's 5 years younger than me). Combine that with my kids and our jobs and there's not a lot of time together. So we are moving slowly. But I tell him what's on my mind and he listens and responds. Novel idea.
RD, you sound way more interested than my mother. She asks me nothing.
As much as I like this guy, we are nowhere close to being a real part of each other's lives. I'm not sure I'm ever going to fit in with his family, there's a social hierarchy here to certain South American families, I can't really explain that here, it's just a Miami fact of life. I do not fit in to his pre-Sandinista land-owning family. I just don't. And as far as him meeting my kids, well, I'd need to feel a lot more stable than I do. It's not a timeline, it's a feeling. And we aren't there.
Lovely news this afternoon. My young Nica guy has been transferred to a job over an hour away. I didn't see him enough as it is. I don't see this working out well and I'm very sad about it.
That's a bummer I imagine it'd be hard to sustain that given it was still in the early stages/wasn't feeling stable yet. What do you think you'll do (or just go with the flow and see what happens?)
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
KGirl, for now we're just waiting to see what happens. Neither of us are ready to give it up just yet. No matter what happens, this man has taught me so much about what relationships can be, that it's safe to express myself, that it's ok to ask for what I want. He takes the time to soothe me when my feathers get ruffled, has never suggested that my feelings weren't important. He tells me I'm beautiful, he compliments me on my mothering. None of the logistics issues are about who his is as a person and I'm willing to see what happens.
I am a aware, however, of my tendency to shove myself to the side, it's something I struggled with today. He's dealing with a lot with his job and his kids, and I was keeping something to myself, trying not to stress him more. Finally, I just said what I needed to, and his reaction was beautiful. But it's interesting to observe myself struggling with the same old issues. I guess noticing and naming is the beginning of change.
Sunny, I hope it works out. Keep praying for clarity and wisdom and for your path to be clear. It is sometimes very strange to see how things work out.
In the meantime, it is so nice that you are able to practice good relationship skills with this guy. Sometimes I think we are not so unhealthy as we've been led to think by the way our interactions with the unhealthy former spouses. I was talking to a friend who had dealt with a similar situation with someone in his life and his take was: These people have different processing engines than the rest of us. You can take the same inputs and get one set of responses from healthy people and a completely different set of responses from the unhealthy ones, and there is just nothing to be done about it. So your biggest challenge isn't so much that *you* have a problem in relationships, but that your 26 years with Mr. Perfect have conditioned you to behave in a way that was effective with him but not effective with a healthy partner. Perhaps reframing the condition that way will help?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I imagine it'd be hard to sustain that given it was still in the early stages/wasn't feeling stable yet. What do you think you'll do (or just go with the flow and see what happens?)