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#2650035 02/04/16 11:29 AM
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Butterc Offline OP
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Simply put, moving forward with acceptance and self-care seems impossible when WAH is so cold. I just feel pain all day long. Can't stand it. Running myself ragged this week has resulted in the flu. Miserable physically and mentally.


Buttercup

Me 50 H 51
M 17 T 20
D16
H EA Feb 2014
BD Sept 2015
H moved out Nov 2015
W Filed D papers Mar 2016



Butterc #2650038 02/04/16 11:37 AM
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Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2650044 02/04/16 11:45 AM
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Butterc...so sorry you are feeling poorly. The flu is no fun, especially on top of everything else. frown

WAH being cold is a normal part of the script, especially when under A fog. They are getting their needs met elsewhere and don't feel like they need anything from you. That's what makes it so difficult to do anything positive to repair your M when they are at this stage of the game. But fog is not permanent, and H's freeze out behavior is probably not either. You just have to hang in there and wait. You will get your chance to try to repair your M.

Take care of yourself and hope you feel better soon!!


Me: 43, Him: 40
Married: 21 years

Butterc #2650045 02/04/16 11:51 AM
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Originally Posted By: Butterc
Simply put, moving forward with acceptance and self-care seems impossible when WAH is so cold. I just feel pain all day long. Can't stand it. Running myself ragged this week has resulted in the flu. Miserable physically and mentally.


At a time like this I remember an old saying my mom always quoted.

"This too shall pass".

There will be a time when this is behind you and you are happy and healthy. When you're down just think about that. I've consciously done that at hard points in my life and it does help.



The future is as bright as you demand it be.
annab74 #2650050 02/04/16 12:06 PM
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Butterec the beginning is always the hard part. Trust me my friend. But there is light after the tunnel. I always thought there was no light and really thought my world was coming to an end. I know it's better said than done. Get out of the house , explore! Have some fun here and there. Even though at times when you go out , you will always remember your wife and will tell yourself " my wife would love to be here". The emotional roller coaster is real. You will think you are at the top and everything is ok ,but next day it will feel like the first day.

Keep you head up, love yourself first. WW being a cold hearted woman is normal right now. The fog is thick. I know it feels impossible.


Me:26 WW:26
RELATIONSHIP - 5 YRS
MARRIED-1YR 11months
BD:9/14/2015
divorce filed 1/6/15
DAUGHTER- 3YRS
DAUGHTER - 1yr
job #2650051 02/04/16 12:08 PM
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Oh no love, that isnt good at all! You need to find a way to relax..candles, book a massage, go away and stay with a girlfriend at her house overnight, anything..something! Don't let this ruin you physically on top of mentally. Try to rest and feel better.


Me:24 H:26
T:7yrs M:4yrs
S:4 D:5
ILYBNILWY 12/5
PA Confirmed 2/19


annab74 #2650075 02/04/16 01:56 PM
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Butterc Offline OP
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AnnaB. You said You just have to hang in there and wait. You will get your chance to try to repair your M.

I'm afraid I won't get that chance. I wonder if I have the stamina to be patient. Even though I want to be in this for the long haul. 15+ years of commitment has crumbled into this horrible end result. I see no end.

I keep replaying the obscure "You're the Buddha" by the fantastic Howard Jones


Buttercup

Me 50 H 51
M 17 T 20
D16
H EA Feb 2014
BD Sept 2015
H moved out Nov 2015
W Filed D papers Mar 2016



TxHubby #2650076 02/04/16 02:02 PM
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Butterc Offline OP
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Txhubby. "This too shall pass. "

I'll add that to the constant repetition of the Serenity prayer. It's got to sink in eventually, right?


Buttercup

Me 50 H 51
M 17 T 20
D16
H EA Feb 2014
BD Sept 2015
H moved out Nov 2015
W Filed D papers Mar 2016



angel r #2650078 02/04/16 02:06 PM
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Butterc Offline OP
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Angelr: love myself first? Very hard because I've been thrown out with the trash. Feeling worthless today.

It shall pass. Today is heavy on the pity party


Buttercup

Me 50 H 51
M 17 T 20
D16
H EA Feb 2014
BD Sept 2015
H moved out Nov 2015
W Filed D papers Mar 2016



Rednail #2650079 02/04/16 02:09 PM
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Butterc Offline OP
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Rednail, thanks. I have actually done all that. In fact, I bawled during half of my massage this week wink


Buttercup

Me 50 H 51
M 17 T 20
D16
H EA Feb 2014
BD Sept 2015
H moved out Nov 2015
W Filed D papers Mar 2016



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