Just checking in!

[AnotherStander]

But clearly, as you've already found in your sitch, they have not done the work on themselves they need to do and what they really need is a time out from relationships to gather themselves and get some much-needed help.

I'm not the original poster in this thread so it's not my sitch but thanks anyway - I just saw your post regarding THIS OM, and wanted to hear your opinion in general.

Oops sorry, I should have looked closer at who was posting

[RysinMn]

Anotherstander,
Sorry this took so long, currently deployed with horrible connection issues. I would say that currently my R w/ GF is getting to the serious level. And I have wondered about that exact same point. What I always seem to come back to is I do not allow WW to talk about feelings or rehash our past. I know this can't continue too far into the future, I just decided I would show compassion and patience with her instead of the i told you so stance. I figured it would be a better ending if we split cordial rather than angry at one another when that thine comes. Thank you for your insight and I hope to hear back from you.

[RysinMn]

Sotto,
It is good to see you again. Yeah it's crappy how the marriage went from something so promising to gone in months is wild. But looking I know in my heart after almost 3 years of waiting it's time to make a change. I tend to tell those that know my sitch, an affair is a mistake, leaving your spouse and starting a new life with someone else is a "life changing decision" you just don't put life in reverse once you find the road leads someplace you didn't expect. It took a long while to get right with myself, but now that I am, I feel like compassion and patience are my two strongest assets. Because when we finally end this relationship there will be no doubt the man I am in her eyes. And although it pains me a little to think about it I still care for her, and I hope one day she finds someone else who will show her what a real relationship is like again. With compassion and patience not lies, deceit, and false promises.