I skimmed over your old thread and was struck by this:
Quote:
I went to visit our MC last night on my own. He told me that according to what he saw--the difficulties were 90% his and 10% mine. And while I know that that may not necessarily be true--it was nice to have someone who sees a lot of difficult relationships to confirm that I wasn't just being a jerk, or problematic.
That is pretty extreme for a MC to tell you that - and it likely means that yes, it's mostly not you but him. Not to say we don't all have our stuff to work on, and you may have some codependency issues that you need to work on, but - 90/10? Those are pretty strong words coming from a counselor, I would take them at their word.
You've talked about H trying various different meds - has he ever seen a good holistic practitioner? The brain is an organ like any other, which can suffer from disease, and most depressed people are not suffering from a Prozac deficiency. Not to say antidepressants don't have their place - they do - but a thorough workup for biological causes should also be done. (One cause, for instance, is mutations in the MTHFR gene - an enzyme which activates the B vitamin folate into the active methylated form. These patients can be treated with high doses of methyl-folate (prescription name Deplin). I'd be curious about YOUR MTHFR status, as these gene defects also increase the risk of spina bifida and related brain malformations like anencephaly; these can be largely prevented with large doses of methyl-folate prior to and during conception.)
Working the night shift is probably terrible for his depression. Diet/nutrition/exercise/proper connection to the natural world/meditation - all good ideas to employ in depression. Also vitamin D deficiency is very common and definitely connected to seasonal depression.
He may or may not be willing to do what it takes to get some relief. You may or may not be able to help him. Right now you need to help yourself, get your OWN moods into a good place and get financially stable. You can't help him if you're not right.
