I'm happy to be writing this. I feel this needs a new topic as things are so different in my sitch. A few weeks back, at about 9 months in, my W finally snaps. Confesses all. OM2 was really OM1 and not just EA but PA too. Not actively involved for months (hence her warming) but was still hassling her. Here's the thing though- remorse: you'll know it if when you see it. The OM: if you suspect it, it probably real no matter how incongruous it may seem. Disrespect: the worst occurs during your dbing.
What's next? I hope to not post much though I'll answer questions. I'll stay close to my coaches though. BTW, her turning point was my consistency to my changes. So to all her, thanks for support during some weaker moments.
Thank you 2LTL. And thanks Cadet for the link. I want to also stress, REALLY stress the importance of the coaches. Not every sitch is the same. There are certain patterns that are similar, but every sitch is ultimately made of different individuals. I can't thank my coaches or Chrissy or Virginia enough for helping me get to the point I'm at today.
Yeah doing all right. Hope you are too. It is unbelievable-I'm still surprised by her finally coming to. I remember wondering if she had ever shown true remorse-I can say now, if you have to ask, she didn't. The remorse that pours out of her daily is wild. We got a lot of work to do, but my thinking is, at least we know that. Not every married person is aware of that, so maybe it isn't so terrible.
Thank you OG, I am glad you have some movement in your situation. So I take it that since she is showing remorse she wants to work on the R?
I saw a very brief outburst of remorse once a few months ago and nothing since then. However he will not make eye contact and quite often has a look on his face that looks almost like he is going to cry but won't say a word. So I have been wondering if that is remorse/shame/anger/guilt?
Yes to R. W said she'd do anything I asked to save our M. She will do whatever I request of her. Answer any question etc. I don't know if men are different, but I THOUGHT I saw remorse previously. I didnt. You know it when you see it. From what my W tells me, when I saw her act like you describe your H, she felt all those things.
