Ah, so he's moving in with the OP.....I'm so angry right now, and I'm hurting a lot too (yes, I know, it's all part of the parcel) but I'm at a point where I think it's best just to let him go Has anyone else on here just given up? What were your reasons? Eg what was your final straw?
What a dilemma! Counselor's behavior is so unethical! This is completely bizarre and inappropriate and wrong on so many levels. I feel like she needs to be reported, because your right. She is taking advantage and exploiting people (many of whom are vulnerable) who are sharing their deepest secrets and feelings with her. She obviously has something wrong with her.
I get what you say though, if you report, your ex will think your doing it to be spiteful. I think that when you are together 7 months, and boyfriend leaves it's more due to a break up as opposed to mid life crisis. I think you should be relieved that you know this now before starting a family with him. I am sorry you are hurting and in pain but maybe he just wasn't the right one for you.
I might be in the minority, but I think I would report. I liken her behavior to a teacher sleeping with her under age students. If she was a nurse and it was an ex patient i think it might be ok but very borderline. As a mental health professional she is beyond out of line,
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
Hi Julie, Yes, my thoughts are along the same lines at the moment. I actually messaged her yesterday to let her know that her behaviour was unethical as well as professionally, morally, and personally bunkrupt, and then listed the 14 clauses within the code of ethics which she's in breach of.
I'm starting to see this as a lucky escape, as upon examination of the relationship, his behaviour was quite toxic and borderline nasty/abusive rather a lot of the time towards the end. Feelings make it so much harder, as of course I love him, bur yeah - rational mind vs emotional mind = better off without him.
Please keep us updated on what you decide to do. I don't think I would contact her at all. It won't get you anywhere. I'm not sure who you would report this to. I am upset with this counselors actions. She exploited and manipulated people that were coming to her for help.
I would love to hear from others on this board what their opinions are on how to handle situation with counselor.
In the mean time, consider it a gift that you discovered who ex really was before you invested too much into this relationship. Maybe learn how to take things slower next time around?
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
"I actually messaged her yesterday to let her know that her behaviour was unethical as well as professionally, morally, and personally bunkrupt, and then listed the 14 clauses within the code of ethics which she's in breach of."
You know this was the totally wrong thing to do, right?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"I actually messaged her yesterday to let her know that her behaviour was unethical as well as professionally, morally, and personally bunkrupt, and then listed the 14 clauses within the code of ethics which she's in breach of."
You know this was the totally wrong thing to do, right?
My Supervisors advised me that professionally it was the best thing to do before filing a complaint, given that I too am a counsellor - they classed it as due notification. The code of ethics for the body she belongs to can be found here http://aanzpa.org/ethics This isn't the usual DB situation, where of course I wouldn't contact her.
As an update: Julie, we'd been very close for 4 years before getting together, so I don't feel i "rushed" into anything with him. I do agree, however, that it appears to have been a lucky escape. Really, he should have behaved better as well, given that he too is a counsellor. He came today and picked up the last of his furniture: I put them out on the driveway and went to work so that I didn't have to see him. He has begun sending petty messages demanding silly things like a can of anti rust from in the garage, a rugby ball which I don't even think is here, and implying that I'm incapable of looking after our cat. I think no further contact with him except where for business purposes it is necessary, is the best outcome.
