Divorce Busting My Wayward Wife

[HurtJef]

Journaling:

This morning I woke up to an alert from our bank saying that our joint checking account was overdrawn by 75 bucks. I opened this account a month ago to make it easier to transfer funds between WW and myself.

I also got an alert that WWs car insurance is due to be cancelled on Monday.
Which means it still isnt paid. Part of me wanted to bail her out but I decided against it since I have been fired from being her H.

I looked to see why the account was overdrawn and saw that she wrote 3 fifty dollar checks to the american legion that she is employed at. They allow people to cash a personal check there so they can have cash on hand to gamble and drink.

I texted her to let her know the situation and left it at that.
She texted back and said she was heading to the bank immediately and that she was just over extended because of her new expense of her house.

I didnt respond

I wanted to tell her that if she is over extended then she shouldnt be cashing checks to drink and gamble off of. But I STFU.

I guess the only recourse is to let the insurance lapse and close the checking acct if it has to come to that. I cant be her protector anymore.

[HurtJef]

Journaling:

Feeling down tonight. Had an argument with WW about her trying to change our agreed kids schedule. Its only been in effect a week.

Right now we split the weekdays and she has them Tuesday and Thursday. I have them Monday and Wednesday. Those are the nights she works.

The weekends are the problem. With our agreement, we rotate Friday, saturday and Sunday. I have them on the weekends that she works Saturday Nights.(every other).

Well she told me today that I should keep them every Friday because she wants those nights to go out. I told her no....that wasnt the agreement. Well, she didnt like that much and started to spew. I told her we would talk about it later when she calmed down. I hung up.

Well after thinking about it....I decided that I would be willing to keep them on the tuesday of the week that she has them for the weekend. That way she would have a night to herself every week and we could still rotate Fridays.

I called her back and calmly proposed this to her. She didnt like it and spewed more...i calmly let her go.

Havent heard back. I was trying to be reasonable but I guess you cant reason with a WW. Bummed

[JellyB]

Hi Hurtjef...

I'm not an expert, but you seem to have handled that exchange extraordinarily well. The argument seems to have been one sided. Wife wanted something, she didn't like your boundary, appears to have spewed some and you put in another boundary, you attempted to compromise and collaborate. Not sure what more you could have done. You should be super proud of you! Just my opinion. Turn that frown upside down and give yourself some credit.

Cheers jelly

[HurtJef]

Thanks Jelly,

I did hold my boundaries but it stinks when I feel the distance between us. I hate that she tries to take advantage.

[Nettles]

I did hold my boundaries but it stinks when I feel the distance between us. I hate that she tries to take advantage.

Keep it up. W isn't liking the size or fit of her BGP that you are making her put on. Well done.

[HurtJef]

Thanks Nettles... That is the kind of encouragement that I need. It is discouraging when you realize that someone that you have worked together with for so long now seems to be working against you at every turn.

Feeling better today though. I guess dips in emotion are par for the course.

[WhyUs]

It is discouraging when you realize that someone that you have worked together with for so long now seems to be working against you at every turn.

I know this feeling all to well. I'm struggling to deal with it on a daily basis.

[HurtJef]

Hang in there Why! I've started to detatch naturally. Mostly because of the fatigue of it all. Its going on 3 months since she left and those moments are becoming less frequent. Thanks for the support

[HurtJef]

So......I found out today after I picked the kids up that the OM has been at my WW new place every night that she has the kids. SD asked me if I knew who he was cuz she caught them making out on the couch late last night. So I told her the truth. I didnt want to lie to her. Might be a bad move but my IC told me that if my kids ask....I shouldn't lie to them.

But WW has been lying and telling them it is her roommates friend.

Im bothered but not so pissed actually. Guess that says something about how far I've come in all of this. If there is such a thing as kharma.... I wouldn't want to be WW.

[HurtJef]

Journaling:

Woke up this morning to all three of my younger children lying in bed with me. They are going through so much, I wish I could make it better for them.

Last night I sat and talked to my SD15 til about midnight. She had lots of questions about the OM and the affair. I tried to be as honest as I could without slamming WW.

SD also told me that D8 and S6 know about him and that they all talked about it together yesterday morning before SD asked me about it. SD said that they have been wondering ever since they started going to WWs place b/c OM is always around.

I asked why they didnt ask WW. SD said because they dont trust her and know she would just lie to them anyways. This all makes me so sad.

So my SD tells me that if she could, she would never talk to WW again. I explained that she shouldn't feel that way and that she doesn't have to like what her mom is doing but she is her mom and loves her.

Woke up early this morning around 6am. Couldnt fall back to sleep.

WW has kids this weekend and will pick them up after work today(6pm) and bring them back Monday. At least that is the agreement.