Thank you job. Yes, I'm waiting for a call back from another lawyer.
Would you recommend I say anything to him about the finances, or just not have any contact with him? I've been hesitant to say anything, my instinct is just to pull away, because at this point he's nothing but a big fat liar, and anything he says to me will be hard to believe.
Last edited by Lucy105; 05/12/1505:13 PM.
M: 47 / H: 52 No children. Own a business together. Told me he wanted a divorce: 3/31 Moved out: 4/7 Confirmed OW: 4/16 Took divorce off the table: 4/24
I see no harm in discussing finances, especially the repair work needed on the garage. That has to be addressed and taken care of, i.e., the sooner the better in order for you to sell the home.
If you speak of finances, do not mention you saw the check about the OW. You don't want to tip your hand as to what you know and have seen.
Learn to play your card game properly, i.e., keeping things close to the vest and when to fold. Right now, your cards need to be kept close to the vest.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job, I feel like he was being nice to get me to do what he wanted, he saw it as an opportunity. When he called, and was so nice, that's when he asked me if he could pick up our second mower. He can't be nice, unless he's getting something from me.
I'm not at the stage yet where I want to deal with him. I want to just pull away, and let things be a bit, I'm not ready to push him, I just can't yet, I need to be a bit more stable myself.
As far as qualifications, I don't know. I've not had a real job since 2003, I've always had my own small businesses that I ran, a sewing business, and then a photographer, and then we ran the business together.
You are dead on about the staff too. They feel he is doing something very wrong, and it's hard on them, but he doesn't care. I tried explaining that to my friend so she can understan better what is going od, but it's to late, it's only a job to her, and she doesn't even speak to him.
Sounds like you're super qualified to me! (run multiple small businesses and a restaurant) - I agree with Job, that's a ton of marketable skill, if not an emerging enterprise waiting to happen.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Thank you job, I'm backing off because at this point, I just can't deal with it emotionally. I'm not there yet, I don't even want to talk to him. It's not been that long since I've backed off, and I need to take it at my own pace. Is it right or wrong, I don't know, will it come back to bite me in the butt, maybe, but it's what I need right now. I need to get my emotions in check first.
Thank you PigPen, that's so kind of you to say!! I really appreciate the boost!
M: 47 / H: 52 No children. Own a business together. Told me he wanted a divorce: 3/31 Moved out: 4/7 Confirmed OW: 4/16 Took divorce off the table: 4/24
Lucy, Take all the time you need to digest what is going on. Each poster has to move at their own pace. However, while you are digesting this information, you definitely need to protect your finances. If I'm correct, he's going to be spending money very quickly not only on himself, but her as well.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I understand, and I will continue to monitor the account. I'm waiting to hear back from the lawyer before I decide what to do.
M: 47 / H: 52 No children. Own a business together. Told me he wanted a divorce: 3/31 Moved out: 4/7 Confirmed OW: 4/16 Took divorce off the table: 4/24
I just applied for my first job.........wish me luck. It's a prep cook position at the hospital 20 min from me. I have 2.5 years experience from working in the restaurant, and that should help.
M: 47 / H: 52 No children. Own a business together. Told me he wanted a divorce: 3/31 Moved out: 4/7 Confirmed OW: 4/16 Took divorce off the table: 4/24
So, H just called my phone. I didn't answer, so he texted, and I didn't respond to that either. He is sending a repair company out to pick up my broken lawn mower, to fix it, and return it to me.
He's finally making attempts to call me, second in a week. This makes me so confused. What if he really is trying? What if being positive and friendly with him was working, along with the letter the DB coach helped me put together? What if avoiding him now pushes him away? I'm feeling so confused!
Last edited by Lucy105; 05/12/1510:38 PM.
M: 47 / H: 52 No children. Own a business together. Told me he wanted a divorce: 3/31 Moved out: 4/7 Confirmed OW: 4/16 Took divorce off the table: 4/24
If he is really trying to do the right thing, he would be working with you to get the garage repaired and be more transparent w/you. If he was really trying, he wouldn't be doing the things he's been doing w/the ow. You are not second best, you are the prize and deserve to be treated w/respect and love and his honesty about what he's doing.
Stay the course. When in doubt, do nothing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
What if going silent, and not pursuing, only makes him think he is not welcomed back home, so he doesn't contact me?
M: 47 / H: 52 No children. Own a business together. Told me he wanted a divorce: 3/31 Moved out: 4/7 Confirmed OW: 4/16 Took divorce off the table: 4/24
