Getting better at this I believe. I still have my momenents. I must say it makes me cringe when I hear her on the car blue tooth - "Momma loves you so much, I miss you, blah blah blah...." What a crock.
If I could only say what I was thinking but I know not to do that.
Can you confirm that LRT is NO contact except where kids are concerned?
So far, I just can't bear to return any phone calls or talk to her or see he. It's just all too much and just makes me cry.
So, validation is required - no contact correct?
LRT and going dark can be used in tandem.
When the kids are concerned, one must be in contact on logistics related to child care, schooling, etc. It is unavoidable. What is also unavoidable is being cold, curt, and short. You cannot go dark on W when there's young kids.
Polite, brief, and cordial. It isn't that hard, Heavy.
Look at W as another mother from the school. How do you deal with other parents? Just like another parent.
Hey Heavy, I haven't been around too much lately, but reading back a little bit on your story, it sounds like you a really getting it together - great time with kids, great time with friends (those are really important right now).
It is so hard, isn't it. I am definitely not up for an Oscar.
not much to add, but I think you are doing great. Keep it up!
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
No, I don't think I have it together even though it may sound like it. I am FORCING myself to do all of this because of my kids and I guess for me too.
There is no way I would have chosen this path and there are many days where I don't thnk I can go on, but I do. Becuase there are people who have it far worse than I do. Because I have a support structure, because I have a career, becuase I have the DB community, and because I know my WAW is not well and making decisions not in the best interestes of herself, me or or family.
I can only control me, not pursue and try to get through this the best way I can. My faith in God has deepened, my faith in my family has deepened and my belief in myself has grown.
One day I hope to have the grown eough as a human being to forgive myself and my WAW. I pray our children can forgive us for putting them through such pain. That day is not today but one day.
Interesting - not a believer but it's kind of fun.
Anyway - checked out my life path which is a 2 and my WAW is a 5. 5 Life path 5 people cherish freedom more than anything else. Life path 2 people cherish stability and family. They are among the most incompatible people for a relationship. Ha-Ha. It does not mean it's impossible but challenging.
My reading also stated that I did not have any "voids" or emotional defects but my WAW has 2 voids which are unhealed childhood wounds that will replay over and over and over unless worked on through counseling or other assistance.
So uncanny it was weird.
Officially, I do not believe this malarky but it does make for an interesting discussion.
Anyway - checked out my life path which is a 2 and my WAW is a 5.
A good example of not detaching
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
