Wife having emotional affair 6

[3kids]

Hi all!

Haven't posted in a little bit. Living a very busy life these days.

The kids are awesome as always. The oldest Boy is still excelling at baseball. The younger two are just having fun with life.

The stbxw told me that they where suppose to close on their house last Friday but they where having problems with some financing or something. Then made a comment that it should probably not happen anyways. And that things are right with them. I didn't say anything acting like normal that I really don't care but for some reason she needs to tell me this stuff. Today at a baseball tourny she told me that she failed one of her classes for college(shocker when is she going to learn). The daughter told me something in front of her also today that I thought was funny. She said "guess what he baught mom, a canoe". I find this very funny for one reason, she is scared of the water and can hardly swim.

On to another note. Some very good friends of mine are trying to set me up with this women. I know her very well because she is my best friends sister. But they aren't close because if his wife. The problem is she lost her future husband in a plane crash two days before their wedding(5years ago). And she still holds on to a lot of pain from it. She is an awesome women but she kind of has a boyfriend. The way my friends describe it they aren't really that close and only see each other once a week. She does show interest in me but I'm just nervous because I don't want to be that guy that breaks up anybody. So we will see where that goes.

Hope you all are great!

Thanks
3kids

[TenBook]

I would say it's just a date. What the future holds is not for us to gnash our teeth about until the options present itself.

[3kids]

Just an update and some feed back if possible.

So I got a call from the stbxw yesterday asking if her and the kids could come to my place while I was at work for a couple of hours before exchange. I didn't ask questions and said ok not a problem. Come to find out the kids where absolutely terrible for her(her words). They totally disprspected her and her mom. The young two would not listen to her one bit. And the oldest started screaming at her. They where working on a project for his school and she started arguing with him and he let her have it. "How are you going to ever help me you can't even handle your own school and pass it. You can't handle us." And on and on. She started screaming at him and then her mom stepped in. And told her how awful of parent she is and on and on. And the stbxw went off on her mom tell her she learnt from the best and who is she to tell her anything. So at the end of the convo, the stbxw tries to tell me it's kind of my fault because the kids have no rules at my place. I stopped her right there and told her I never have those probablems here and don't disprspect me by telling me I'm a bad parent, my kids respect me and listen to me. And asked her to leave.

I did talk to the kids after she left and found out they are kind of sick of her acting like the best mom in the world infront of OM. When in their words "she's not". It was their first weekend with their mom and the most they did all weekend long was to to a movie with her and not play one second. They don't like being crammed into grandmas little place. And they just had a awful weekend and are happy to be back at home with me. I didn't put any bad thoughts about their mom in their little heads but I never defended her one second.

Would you say I could have handled this any better. I'm really just trying to just stay neutral till the divorce is final. So I don't have any back lash in court. I've come to the conclusion that this new woman is not even close to the woman I fell in love with. So I don't see any possible reconsilation with her. Day after day she is getting worse and worse with my kids.

Thanks for any feedback!
3kids

[Cadet]

Its funny how kids can see the truth in everything.

Things always get worse before they get better.

[3kids]

Tough day for some reason. Maybe because my hopes and dreams finally came to an end today. The stbxw and OM where having a lot of problems getting that house that was really close to where I live. So I had been praying and praying that it would fall through but it didn't. So now I get to drive by my ex's house every day going to and from work. Yah me! I'm sure I'll get over it just like every thing else but it just terrible to me today. Not looking forward to that part of the future. On the bright side the stbxw did say she is not happy. Which made me feel good for some reason. She said something about OM is never home and he left her to move into their house all by herself. All I said is well he has never been here any of the other five times you moved either so nothing new. She tried to pick a fight about money. And I said whatever it doesn't matter, I don't want to fight anymore, I just want to be done with it all. She said well that's real nice. I said just want you to be happy and me to find someone to love me. She said well good luck to you but I'm not happy, this all was not my plan. But I don't want to talk about it. And we left it at that.

Point being, happy for my kids to have another house to call home. Sad for some reason that another nail got pounded into the coffin. Even though I know it's over. Just sad about it. Upset that I have to drive by their house every day. Just don't even know anymore. Wish someone could hit the switch to just not care!

[SunnyB]

I feel you. I drive by H's apartment at least once a day. I'm actually glad he's close enough to be an effective parent. Silver lining.

[3kids]

Just wanted to put down some feelings.

Things lately have been going great. Kids, life, and just about everything. Have a date planed for this weekend with a very beautiful women. Nervous and exicited. Have just excepted everything for what it is and finally moving on. The kids love living so close to mom and dad's house. Im very happy for them, anything to make their life better is great. First court date set for Wendsday.

I've been kind of pushing the court. Since me and the stbxw don't talk that much anymore and I don't offer my help in any way(as husband or mr.fixit). I try to bring up the court paper work every now and then. Finally today I got an answer from her on when we can sit down and fill them out. It was a sad text convo. At one point I had to admit I was wrong about something and she stated "I wish you would have done that years ago". I told her that I was sorry I ever hurt her and if I had to do it all over again there would be a lot I would to differently. She texted back "I feel the same, I wish I could go back in time. I wish I was the person I am now." I text back that I feel the same and tough lessons in life.

So after that convo I'm a little sad. I know this my future with her but I'm not mad anymore. I'm a little sad that both of our faults brought us to this point. Sad for my kids to have two seperate homes. But know that both of us love them. And hope that both of us can find a partner in life that loves them as much as we do. Yes, I don't think her and OM will last. But I also know that I diserve someone that looks forward to seeing me every day. And for some reason I don't think that will ever be her.

So today I'm a little sad because the old life that I new is finally coming to a close.

With love
3kids

[3kids]

Vets or anyone need some advise.

We were suppose to meet tonight and fill out the paper work for the first court or maybe only court date on Wendsday. Shocker, something came up and she couldn't make it. Couldn't find a babysitter for the kids or something. I get a call and she talks about filing out the paper work. I try to set a different day to get together and she says maybe if she can find time. Then she starts talking about putting it off if we need to have more time. I said time for what? She just said if we need more time like a couple weeks or longer. She tried to discuss some of the paper work like days with the kids on holidays and every thing needs to be writen down to perfection. Her words "just in case I get a women that tries to tell me what to do when I have my kids or tries to run my life". I told her "do you honestly think ME of all people would let anyone control what I do with me kids, do let him control you, I didn't think so." We ended at maybe get together on Sunday night to fill out the paper work.

So how do I handle this? I feel she is stalling. I don't want to start fighting this close to court. So I don't know how hard to push. What can or should I do? Please need advise.

3kids

[sandi2]

Unless she speaks up and gives you a more solid reason to stall the paperwork, I think you should continue with it. To me, it sounds as if she wants you to be the one to say "Let's wait a couple of weeks", and it gets her out of saying anything. (It's really an old game.) If she asks you if you need more time, tell her you have had plenty and unless she can give you a reason she wants to wait....you are ready to go forward.

She is getting closer to that point of "speak now or forever hold your peace" - divorce style. There may be a little part in her that wants to see if you'll make one more plea. Hold your ground!

This caused me to remember what happened with my D and her XH. Hope you don't mind me sharing.

My former SIL thought he was a real lady-charmer. He had been caught with his pants down more than once, but then he got a girl pregnant. When he and my daughter were about to enter the doors of the divorce court, he looks at her and turns on all the sexy charm he could muster and says,
"What are we doing"? I guess he thought she would fall into his arms, crying her eyes out, like she had in the past. Instead, she looks straight into his eyes and confidently says, "I am divorcing your a$$ for cheating on me, that's what I'm doing". That's all she said to him, and then walked into the courtroom. That guy was playing her right up to the end. If he had really wanted to stop the D proceeding b/c he was ready to straighten up and act like a M man, I think he could have said something better than that old bait & hook of, "What are we doing", at the last second.

I don't know your W's intent, but it smells like it has a little bait on it, to me. Just be careful.

[3kids]

Thank you Sandi!

It just seems like she doesn't want to face reality. She is getting upset in her tone of voice when I act like it's no big deal finalizing the divorce. Like she doesn't want her fantasy life to come to real life. The finality of it all. Who knows what she is thinking. Maybe doesn't want me to move on, maybe isn't happy with her life, maybe scared of court, who the heck knows. I just do not want to push the wrong buttons. I do not want to pay for another lawyer. When there is nothing left to fight over. Be done and move on with our worlds.

Any more advise is more than welcome please.

Thanks
3kids