Things that need to be done around the house that I cannot do. Living rural presents problems, little things like our rubbish bins need to be emptied now and its something that requires his utility to do, I cannot do it nor can I get anyone else out here too. I know he realises they need to be done and he does do them, but do I leave him to do it in his own time or when they really need doing, or just put up with things not being done. I knows it seems like really small things, just the small things are a part of the big picture I guess. We are not together and it feels like I am still relying on him to do things for me when I shouldn't maybe?
When my s17 was small play group, pre school, parents groups school functions.
Besides parents love to talk, and the changes in you will filter back via others trust me. My hasn't spoken since September to me directly, but has been sending mates to check up. The story was networking with people for jobs. I'm unsure how he was networking alone!
Live along way from town, my commute to work is 40min. When I want to create image or impression I dress up any where and often. When I finish work early I get changed into something pretty and easy to carry. Ie dress and heels.
I wear make up every where but on farm. No exceptions, you don't know who is watching and talking. The local gossipy hair dress made a pointed coment, she I'm sure cuts mil hair.
The best revenge is living well, and getting ahead.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
On the rubbish bag it up place in car and take with you to town.
Smaller lots but it means you do not need to ask, nor nag and worry.
As to being h friend, that's personal choice, I could not. I bascially went nc in March. I didn't contact h wasnt contacting me.
Farming women Built and did great things stop selling your self short. In the old days they did everything without electricly and one new baby per year to contended with.
Leant to use the chain saw, I do always had my own. Learn to drive the tractor, how ,I learnt to drive a car. Get a truck licenece like I did, get a gun licence if you need to like I did.
Do what you need to do find more creative ways to do is all.
Last edited by Ggrass; 02/08/1501:39 AM.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Yeah I know we are strong women, chainsaw, gun toting, tractor driving one here too! haha The bins are huge and full and he has the ute, that problem is solved anyway, in the meantime between posts he has turned up! haha I do get out into our small town and chat to a lot of the locals, surprising the support I have, such a shame his reputation is being trashed, I do not want this for him, steering clear of the gossip as much as I can!
Yes I realise my Husband is not a prize. There was nothing wrong with the person I was before, am now. I have hobbies, good friends, wonderful children and a very supportive family. It was the medication that radically changed my personality, and this is what caused him to switch off. This is where I am unclear on what I should be doing?
I struggled with this too when I first arrived here.
I was a good husband and when I looked in the mirror there seemed like their was nothing to FIX.
Took me along time to realize that I was co-dependent, enabling and a FIXER. Was told by a wise DB'er that most LBS's fit in this category. So we all have thing to work on it just may not be as obvious as, we are overweight, or talk to much.
Well I know as a human being I am not perfect, there are always ways to improve as a person. He was very happy with me before I changed, rushed home from work to be with us etc. This is where I am getting confused perhaps, my 180, personality wise, was because of the medication I was taking, he left because he could not handle who I had become, the moods, the fights etc, it wasn't easy and fun anymore was his words, and he gave up.
Well I know as a human being I am not perfect, there are always ways to improve as a person. He was very happy with me before I changed, rushed home from work to be with us etc. This is where I am getting confused perhaps, my 180, personality wise, was because of the medication I was taking, he left because he could not handle who I had become, the moods, the fights etc, it wasn't easy and fun anymore was his words, and he gave up.
Who said marriage was easy?
So get back to be that person who is fun and easy. He will either notice or he wont, you can only control YOU, and become the best YOU can be.
