Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
#2491303 09/26/14 12:37 AM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
T
twinmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
I have decided after all my db efforts I really don't want this marriage. Train, Starsky, 25 years and the rest of you who forgave your spouses are better than I am because I can't move past the pain of what my H put me through and move forward.

Court date is October 14th and I am going through with the divorce. I feel guilty for letting my kids down but the pain is just too much.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



twinmom #2491304 09/26/14 12:40 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
Don't you dare feel guilty. You didn't let anyone down, your husband did.


M 16 T 17
W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14
ILYBNIL 5/14
A discovered 6/14
D papers served via USPS 8/14
Filed my response 9/14
D final 5/15...
wmwb123 #2491321 09/26/14 01:55 AM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 659
U
Member
Offline
Member
U
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 659
twinmom, you've been so strong throughout the craziness your H put you through. I honestly would not have survived it. But there are so many kids involved. Maybe things don't need to be decided now. You can always get a continuance of the hearing and see how you feel in another couple of months. Just a thought. God bless you and your children.

unbidden #2491330 09/26/14 02:24 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,077
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,077
oh twinmom, I'm sorry to hear that but it's important for you to honor how you feel. VERY important. I agree with unbidden, nothing needs to be decided now. You've been through a lot and I mean A LOT! Take the time you need. You will end up where you're supposed to be.

(((((hugs))))


M: 37 H: 36
M: 13 T: 18
D: 7
Bomb: 6/30/14
Separation: 8/11/14

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.
Ss06 #2491352 09/26/14 03:24 AM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 232
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 232
big hugs twinmom, I know how incredibly hard you have fought, and also how incredibly hard this decision is for you. thank you for all your support and amazing words. definitely need to save up the plane fare, from one twin mum to another. xx

twinmom #2491364 09/26/14 04:23 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 99
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 99
twinmom
I'd like to say thanks to the posts you made on my thread. Moreover, I wish you the best. I hope that your heart heals and you and your children the best.


Me:30 W:34
M:8 T:9
D:9 D:4 D:3 S:4 S:1
D bomb: 8/2014
S 12/2014
PA Confirmed in 3/2015 if I recall correctly
Arcola #2491557 09/26/14 05:55 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3,500
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3,500
TwinMom, you've been amazing. I hope you'll keep posting and sharing your journey from time to time. I wish you all the best.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
twinmom #2491566 09/26/14 06:32 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
Likes: 1
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
Likes: 1
Originally Posted By: twinmom
I have decided after all my db efforts I really don't want this marriage. Train, Starsky, 25 years and the rest of you who forgave your spouses are better than I am because I can't move past the pain of what my H put me through and move forward.


TM,

My h did NOT put me thru what your h put you through, and he sure as heck did not do it while I was carrying his child. I am NO better than you.

Truth be told, I would not have DBd at all if I were in your shoes. My ego would not have been able to cope with a betrayal like that, while pregnant, let alone discovering that I was also OW for his first marriage...just too much to overcome.

I wish you the very best and I hope you will STILL POST HERE in the "Surviving Divorce" forum b/c people need to that they CAN survive this. It's a lot to take.


It's more than I could have handled. Don't put yourself down for your efforts' --you are a better woman than me, for trying at all.



Court date is October 14th and I am going through with the divorce. I feel guilty for letting my kids down but the pain is just too much.


You have NOT let your kids down, your h did.

Furthermore there is a price to all choices. If you were to stay with him your children would pay a price for that, too.

There's a cost to every choice. In YOUR situation, the cost of staying together is too high for You to pay.

In my opinion your children would also pay too high a price b/c of what it would be showing your kids, to stay together. I truly believe, also, that your h would repeat the behavior.

So how on earth would that not affect the kids?

Please keep us posted and know that you are not alone, and we are all rooting for you.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
25yearsmlc #2491615 09/26/14 08:59 PM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
T
twinmom Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
Thank you everyone....

It's been a rough road that's for sure, and its not over. I will continue to post and I sincerely thank everyone for their help in making me a better person and achieving the "goal" I thought I wanted.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



twinmom #2497393 10/15/14 11:15 PM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 323
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 323
Twin,

Just checking to see how court went?

Hope you are keeping well. Keep us posted.

Dev


Me: 40
Wife: 38
M: 10. T: 18
S: 8, D: 6, S: 4
BD 02/01/14
Asked her to leave 02/01/14

Keeping the dream alive
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard