(((kat))) It's such a fine line between voicing concerns and butting in, isn't it! In the end, I think once you've said it once, you have to let it go, and even bite your tongue. And even support them when they ignore you. In the end, it seems to work out. Maybe not the way you would have chosen, but often better than you expect. Hang in there!
It has been hard to say the least. I know they have been talking about how they are going to manage everything without putting her into day care (thanks d15). Yet s19 still plans on working and going to school. His dad lives about half an hour away and so I don't see him coming into that scheme of things. Both of her parents work, my parents are half an hour away too. That leaves ex's parents to maybe cover a couple of hours if they will for his school. I wish I could help there, I just can't during the day.
D15 is excited to help after she gets out of school. So maybe it is pieces of time here and there that will work. Who knows!
I am doing lots of tongue biting.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Well, color me flummoxed. That sounds like a whole lot of Lucy in the Sky of Diamonds thinking!
Quote:
D15 is excited to help after she gets out of school.
Well, let's see how long that lasts when the baby gets a massive diaper rash with some awesome diarrhea and projectile vomiting, and crying constantly in between. Commercials are good for showing babies at their absolute best. We both know real life rarely meets those expectations.
But in the grand scheme of things, I'm making a bet. And I'd bet my mortgage on this one. Seriously. Once that baby comes, YOU are going to be the one who falls head over heels in love with him/her! I don't care how much you work or fret - you're going to see your son in that baby and it's all going to be behind you. 'Cause that's how I see you, my friend.
Who's betting with me?
As my mom and I agree, babies have a way of making people come together when the pieces are supposed to come together. You and your kids are a family, and I'm also guessing that your son is going to see your contributions in awe and probably exalt you once he sees how difficult it is. You may still have hardships, but love isn't one of them. You're a rock star in that category!
Don't bite your tongue too much. You need it!
Hugs and love,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Well I won't bet against you. I already bought a huge box of stage 1 diapers. There are about 216 in the box. Thinking it won't last even a month but remember how we were all naive in the beginning thinking even one of those little packages were going to last maybe two weeks and yet they went through them in a few days!!
I have gotten rid of nearly all my baby things. I kept some of my favorite outfits from each child and all the equipment went goodbye too. Now I think I might just get a travel crib for my house...well unless they don't plan on me helping.
Today I came across the most awesome little job which sounds like it can give me the flexibility my life demands. I will take several tests that they want completed, update my resume for that job and send it all in. Crossing my fingers big time on that one. Yes, it will be a second job for now cause I just have to do what I need to for now.
Thanks for believing in me.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Glad you liked the pic! I'm in agreement with bets for sure. Everything will change when the baby comes. There will be tough times but there will also be good times. Kudos to D15 for showing her support. It's not like saying Yippee Skippy - what a great idea you 2 had to have this baby but - you can't change it so it's best to accept & show some support. If not for them - do it for your new Grandaughter! You WILL want the best for her. Remember not to alienate her Mom. Try to focus on the good attributes she has. Your son certainly must have some good reasons he wants to be with her.
Just try to find some positives & go with them. Build on them.
I had a friend in a similar situation to yours. Everyone did their best. Then - horror of all horrors - Quin was born with major brain damage. So much for a young Mom & her boyfriend to handle. He was in ,hospital for months - will need tons of help for his entire life. But everyone rallied. I helped get a group of friends together to send $ so they could be with Jim in an out of town hospital without worrying about the $. I know all about it - I lived through it.
Flash forward 5 years. Jenny & Dave are still together & doing well, the did get married. Quinn is thriving - learning & doing more than anyone could have ever imagined. & my friend is back to her regular life which is now enhanced by loving Quinn.
I'm sure your grandchild will be born healthy & happy. Please see this as a blessing. It could be so much worse. & they have many loving, understanding adults in their lives. Be the one they can come to. Your life will be enriched for it.
No one ever said life would be easy. (Ask Bets & I) - they just said it would be worth it.
Kat you are starting to sound exited bout the baby. I like that and u should be...the other concerns that you have? Well u know by now that things tend to work themselves out. So stop borrowing trouble from the future..
Gran ma kat...
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Maybe she can just call me kitty. . Today we had regional meetings. Twice they butchered my name. Then they didn't even use my second last name. What the hay?? Oh well what else is new.
I am trying to focus on me more at the moment. I have officially hit the point in my life where I worry about my parents on one side and my kids on the other. I figured I still need to figure myself out. My son will have to face this and all I can do is continue to be his rock and of course love him.
There was never a question of loving this child but what was best for all of them was certainly my motivation. I know I can't rush in and fix whatever may go awry. That is not easy for any parent to admit. They will eventually understand that all of my apprehension was powered by the love I have for my child.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I had my annual girl appointment with my doc. At the end I told him,we have such a great relationship. I see you yearly for about 20 minutes, we never argue, always have great discussions. Perfect!
How funny is that?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Yes, it will be a second job for now cause I just have to do what I need to for now.