You are correct, I do not want her coming back to me out of desperation. At this point I really want her to be out of here; I need her to be gone if I am ever going to feel like wanting to salvage this relationship. Right now when I see her I feel anger at what she has done to me and what she is doing to our son. I know now that I have other options and that if the marriage was ended I would not be alone for long.
As to how she is going to live on her own; I know she already has severe money problems and has been spending well beyond her means. She had been counting on student financial aid to finance her divorce and new apartment but that is gone since she dropped her classes, and she has fallen behind in payments on her credit cards which are all in default.
I wish I could be the bigger person and feel some sympathy for her plight, but I am still upset enough about what she has done to me that I am glad to see her in such difficulties, which are of her own making. If she comes back I want it to be due to real remorse and a desire to have a better marriage and not out of her financial difficulties.
Me37, W30, S7 Married 10yrs 05/11/04 ILYBINILWY 22/09/13 Disc. OM1 26/09/13 Disc. STD from OM2 03/02/14 Affair Confession 21/06/14
W and I share same apartment (for a few more days). W isn't pushing for D.
Today was a fairly eventful day for me; a lot has happened.
Last night I had taken the time to prepare a very nice meal which was ready when my W arrived home from work around midnight. She was pleasantly surprised and we drank a bottle of wine during dinner, after which we had a long talk. I asked her if she had signed the lease yet on her new apartment. She said that she did not know what to do with her life and that she had not yet signed it. We talked for several hours about all that had happened, and she asked me if I wanted her to stay. I told her that I did not want her to stay if she was not committed to ending the affairs, nor did I want her to stay because she felt she had to because of finances. I said that if she wanted to stay for any reason other than because she was committed to rebuilding our relationship then I did not want her and would prefer that she go away.
Last night was the first time that she appeared to have any emotion over any of the damage that she has caused. She asked me what I would do if she left and I told her to not worry about me because I had plenty of other options and I did not plan to remain single for long. At this she was upset, she told me that if I really loved her then I would wait for her as long as it took. I told her that I had my own life to live, just like she had hers, and if she really loved me then she would not be leaving me to continue her infidelities.
Today, her friend told me that she had gone with her to a meeting with the landlord where W had signed the lease and received the keys to the apartment. W had told her that she had talked to me last night and that I had cried and begged her to stay; that I had promised her that I would start buying her clothes and a new car and a house, etc. She said that she had felt sorry for me but needed to be on her own, blah, blah, blah...
At this point, W is such a duplicitous and messed up person that I do not want any kind of relationship with her. I started coming here with the idea of saving my marriage but I am now at the point where I realize I have plenty of options and a life to live, while my WAW is going the other way with hers, while remaining impervious to my efforts and to any rationality. I expect that I will be moving on; a very dear friend from the days before I met my W is in contact with me, and it could easily turn into a romantic relationship now that I know it is over with W; I just needed to see that there is no chance with my W before I did so.
Me37, W30, S7 Married 10yrs 05/11/04 ILYBINILWY 22/09/13 Disc. OM1 26/09/13 Disc. STD from OM2 03/02/14 Affair Confession 21/06/14
W and I share same apartment (for a few more days). W isn't pushing for D.
