I totally agree Thornton. I didn't want it to come off as Me having false hope or thinking he still loves me but I agree. He keeps Me at arms length. He does not want anything to do with me as in seeing me or even hearing my voice. And he's fine without talking with me about anything but he continues to ask the same questions about the boys when he either A knows the answer or B doesn't plan on doing anything with the information I give him
I really think it would be beneficial if we could just have NO contact. Besides Pre-arranging his pick up dates with the boys. That is why I have him my schedule in advance. Because he comes over on the nights I work. Therefore I expect him to come and he doesn't need to talk to me. That was the point. Tomorrow is his night and he's asking me if the boys want to see him? Just come when you're supposed to come and don't talk to me otherwise right?
Exactly. He's keeping you on the hook and hides behind his anger.
I think your best bet, is to tell him no more texting. Send him an email with EVERYTHING lined out regarding schedules, visiting times, logistics etc. Consult your lawyer before sending.
And finish the letter with, please refrain from contacting me unless its an emergency.
I think you do need to stay NC. Not only will it help you, but I get the feeling it will shake his confidence.
I would not share YOUR calendar with him. Point him to the source where YOU get your information. If it is from the school, give him the school phone number/website. Make him do the work in figuring out when the kids have stuff. F him when he wants you to tell him. How can he miss a valuable contribution of yours to the family (keeping up with the kids) if you keep giving it to him. You seem to have no problem finding out the kids schedules, he should not either.
Anyways, thats just me....
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
"H, I know we have been having trouble coordinating the kids basketball schedules. And its tough for me to text during work. So anytime you need the basketball times, call Coach Bob at 800-555-1212"
Don't send it... before some other chime in with thoughts.
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
Thank you but I actually don't even have the coaches number. I know because I got an email stating practice times. From then everything I have learned was from being present at practice. They very loudly announced game times last week when he was at practice. I'm not trying to have a rebuttal everyone's options I do appreciate them. However he has not once introduced himself to the coaches. He sits on the benches and isn't involved. So because I talk to the coach and am involved I should pass that along
Thank you but I actually don't even have the coaches number. I know because I got an email stating practice times. From then everything I have learned was from being present at practice. They very loudly announced game times last week when he was at practice. I'm not trying to have a rebuttal everyone's options I do appreciate them. However he has not once introduced himself to the coaches. He sits on the benches and isn't involved. So because I talk to the coach and am involved I should pass that along
How about this as a text:
"H, I know we have been having trouble coordinating the kids basketball schedules. And its tough for me to text during work. So anytime you need the basketball times, call email Coach Bob at 800-555-1212 bob@email.com"
Don't send it... before some other chime in with thoughts.
Off topic, but as a GAL... maybe get with "coach Bob" and see if YOU can make an actual written schedule for him (IME, coaches always need help).
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
I actually think the google calendar is a better option. You can load your own plans on their as well as games & practices. Then whenever he asks if the boys are doing something you can refer him to the calendar. It would seriously reduce his ability to manipulate.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Thank you. I really think I'm getting to the point of dropping the rope. I don't think there is hope anymore. I just want to move forward and accept he doesn't care about me. He is with someone else now and it's very public.
I really think I'm getting to the point of dropping the rope.
Hang in there, you have come a long way in the past month. Before you do anything, go back to your first thread. Read that and see how far you have come.
Originally Posted By: T0324
I don't think there is hope anymore.
Sounds like you set an expectation.
Originally Posted By: T0324
I just want to move forward and accept he doesn't care about me. He is with someone else now and it's very public.
And are trying to mind-read.
Re-read DR and call me in the morning.
Me: 43 M: 10y S:15 ILYBINILWY 2/18/13 W moved out 2/18/13 Filed for D: 2/17/13 Got DB: 2/20/13 Got DR: 2/23/13 180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13 D Final Dec '13
Most of us do the mind reading thing. I find out a lot when I do that I set myself up for a big kick in the rear when I find out I was out in left field. It's best to not guess what is really happening. I prayed about this and got a loud message, "You don't need to know and you don't want to know. Just know you'll know when you should know." That's the best advice from God Almighty!
