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#2457428 06/04/14 05:47 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
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Me 47 WW 41
S12 D9
DDay 4/16/14 (Text to WW with "babe" in it)

Wife says it emotional only, but love has been professed both ways for 2 YEARS!!!

I've exposed to her parents who are on my side and my son knows that she might leave (I lost my cool and said something to him).

I feel that it is a game of chicken of who will file first.

Any downside in waiting for her to file?

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Spiff do you want her back? if so there is a but load of great info here...read sandys 37 rules...very good road map. I think by removing your self from the game of chicken would be a good start.


Me: 42
W: 39
D: 2 age 6 and 9
D-Day: Dec 29 13
Seperated: 3/20/14
Mediation retainer : 5/20/14
She filed: 06/25/14
oad #2457435 06/04/14 06:18 PM
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First off, do you want to save your M or not?

Next, if you want to save your M, get the DB or DR book right away to help you.

Third, can you fill us in on your M history? The more you post, the more targeted help we can give you.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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I want the principled old WW back, not the materialistic selfish "replicant" that seems to have taken her place.

Want I am hearing is "not file yet".

WW doesn't want to give up the OM as a friend at the point. We have been friends for 10 years. She still has meals with him in my daughter's presence (setting a good example <- sarcasm). I believe she is very afraid of the reputation loss at school, church and the neighborhood along with strained relationships with her parents.

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Yes, I do want to save M. Want old W back not materialistic / selfish WW.

WW is addicted to OM extroverted personality and won't see the evil in the actions. Christian woman who use to have strong anti-divorce views until this guy divorces her best friend. We have been friends for 10 years. Have kids about the same age.

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So again, you haven't filled us in on your M history. The OM is usually a symptom of a bigger issue. What issues have you had? Be thorough.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 5
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She is dwelling on all the negative things in our past. Things that I said that suggest that I didn't love her enough, I was not happy enough, etc. Sometimes I am a bit too honest.
One thing that has deprives me of joy in our marriage is our money situation. We seem to be on a cycle of racking up debt with sometimes refinancing our mortgage coming to our rescue. After 15 years, the balance on our mortgage is just under the amount we borrowed to buy the house. The problem stem from biting off more that we can chew:

- Private schooling for kids
- She doesn't work full time on only brings in $500/month during the school year.
- Largish house
- She looks like around at friends and neighbors (many of which, both spouses work) see that kind of things they do around the house and the trips they take (Disney) and feels entitled to the same.


Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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