Ugh he was supposed to be home from work over an hour ago, and has not called. He is probably with his bff who he claims they are on bffs. Whatever, I know she is ow.
What to you do in these cases, the not calling I am going to be late is not cool...help?
Ok, life is getting scary. The last 2 nights when my husband is supposed to be home I've had people at my doorstep from his work that I don't know. Both have said the rumors are true, he is having affair. The one tonight had envelope of what they called proof. I told them to bother my husband and his work hr with it. I wanted to know what was in envelope, but I already know thru are having em and pa. It is upsetting that someone could find out where live,especially since it is different town. I secretly hope he foes get caught at work, but he would be fired.
I texted my h about 2 hours after he should have been home. he then hightailed it home from ow house and questioned me about it. He looked worried and paranoid. He has been saying the whole time he won't be fired, that everyone is against him and lying.
I am thinking I won't be answering the door, as I don't know how crazy these people ate. What a mess. He says when the work thing is over he is divorcing me. Not sure if I should believe as he flips back and forth.
If you h isn't home by a certain hour, go on about your business and do whatever you need to do. Don't hold dinner, put it away and find something to do. He's a grown man and knows what he needs to be doing and if he's not following through, then it's his loss.
As for the people coming to your home, I wouldn't like it, but they are trying to warn you of what he's been doing and what the consequences may be. I don't think they are crazy at all, just trying to let you know. The crazy one is your h and look what he's brought down around you, i.e., people coming to your home to tell you about the affair, etc. I'm glad you told him about the visits and you should have advise him that you do not want people coming to your home to tell you about his behavior on the job.
As for divorcing you, he doesn't know which end is up. I do think that he's going to be facing his consequences for his actions at work sooner than anyone thinks. So, prepare yourself in case he gets fired.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He gets home at 11 at night from work, so most nights I have fallen asleep on the couch. It is interesting that he hurried home when I gave him the information and then he wanted to know everything. Part of me hopes he gets caught, except for the loss of money. I do not know why he us in trouble at work, just that he wants to sue boss and supervisor for harassment. He works for state, so I don't think it will be simple or quick.
As for the divorce, he has been throwing that in my face for 5 months, so I think he means it. If ow is still around when his work thing is over, I bet he will divorce me. I cannot believe he would be selfish and hurt our girls.
It is hard to watch h BC I can see he really believes what he is saying. His lies have gotten real bad, my kids could probably see thru them.
I am thankful for this site ad I can vent immediately and then let it go. He accused me of having affair bow because I am on my cell so much. Funny thing is I am looking at forums.
I have a question about this forum. Someone suggested I read certain people threads, how do I find their threads if I know their names?
He gets home at 11 at night from work, so most nights I have fallen asleep on the couch. It is interesting that he hurried home when I gave him the information and then he wanted to know everything. Part of me hopes he gets caught, except for the loss of money. I do not know why he us in trouble at work, just that he wants to sue boss and supervisor for harassment. He works for state, so I don't think it will be simple or quick.
As for the divorce, he has been throwing that in my face for 5 months, so I think he means it. If ow is still around when his work thing is over, I bet he will divorce me. I cannot believe he would be selfish and hurt our girls.
It is hard to watch h BC I can see he really believes what he is saying. His lies have gotten real bad, my kids could probably see thru them.
I am thankful for this site ad I can vent immediately and then let it go. He accused me of having affair bow because I am on my cell so much. Funny thing is I am looking at forums.
I have a question about this forum. Someone suggested I read certain people threads, how do I find their threads if I know their names?
You can click on their username in red in the upper left corner of their post and then scroll down to "posts" and click there and it will give you their recent posts. Hope this helps.
Go to the top of this forum and locate the "Search". It is in red situated between active topics and FAQ. Click on Search, type in the user's name and go from there. It's very easy to use.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So, interesting that TWO people from his work showed up on your doorstep. Do you have any kind of a read on what their motivation was? Are these just two kind-hearted women who didn't want to see another woman be the victim of an unfaithful spouse? Are these people who have it in for your husband for other reasons and are hoping you'll blow up the affair so he'll get fired? Are these people connected to the OW (like a jilted boyfriend) trying to get revenge? Or FRIENDS of the OW, trying to pry you loose from your H since he won't admit the affair to you? Or women who previously were involved with your H themselves, and are jilted women out for revenge?
I'd just say - be very leery of what the motivations are here. Yes, sometimes good Samaritans will inform the wife that her husband is cheating. But it's definitely unusual to have TWO people show up at your door on different days. Be careful not to fall into a trap.
(For instance, on this board, I've seen the OW send evidence of the affair to the wife, anonymously, in hopes that she'll dump the husband and the OW will have him all to herself. Some OW get tired of waiting for the guy to make good on his promises to dump his wife and decide to take matters into their own hands.)
Also - this just sounds very bad for you from a financial perspective. I'd start making your plans for what you will do if the worst happens - if H gets fired and runs off. How will you support yourself and the kids? Would it be better to file for divorce now and get support based on his current income (yes, this could get adjust downward if he loses his job, but it would take a while).
I know what you mean by the crazies at the door. He has said a lot of people have turned him into hr for nothing. Funny how he has been there for 10 years and had no problems. Right now it probably is not related to ow, as she would lose job too. But I do not trust h or ow right now. When he works there are a multitude of people who could work under him. I think it is someone who feels like he favors ow and other scummy friends. I so wanted to take the envelope if evidence, but I already know it is happening, seeing pictures would be hard to forget.
I thought about filing for divorce, but I am not ready. My income may change in October. My work us being bought out and there are no guarantees, also if they offer me a job I have to interview for my own same dam job...ugh
My parents have said they will move and help. We can either live next to each other or same household. It is not what I want as I want h. But it would be next best thing for my girls. I worry though because my parents are in their 70s and dad still works. I don't want them to bust into retirement for me.
Meanwhile, h still blames me for everything. We can talk about everyday stuff and not fight because I choose what I say carefully. Now looking back I see the mlc was coming on. I didn't realize it because he has always been depressed. He had a horrible childhood and now h and ow are sharing their bad childhoods to heal, as he cancelled his ic. I also feel like the first time he said he wanted a divorce in his head it was ok to go from ea to pa. The scary part is to think his scummy friends could end up helping raise my sweet girls.
He has done so much against or religious beliefs that I worry will never get him back. The only commandment he has left is murder....ugh. I just wish he would realize the horrible feeling is in him, not to do with me. He says it is hard because everyone says I am very nice and a great mom, what is he thinking.
Sometimes I wonder why I am putting up with this torture? I am hoping to repair things when h cannot look me in the eye, will not touch me, hug me, kiss me, sleep in the same room as me. H is having ea and pa that he won't admit, they are hffs only...ugh I am not that dumb. I keep hoping the nice h will come back. But I am only one trying to fix things. I know he is in mlc. But is it normally this bad? Everyone thinks I am insane to live this way.
