The conversation went okay. I told him that I was sorry that he was hurt, but that there was really nothing I could do about it. If my mom had included his name or directed it at him, I would have told my mom that it is inappropriate. But that is not what happened and there really was nothing for me to do. I think that my H was surprised that I made a point about his disrespectful actions on FB. He acknowledged that I was right and that he has hurt me and things continue to hurt me because of his decision to have the OW in his life. He admitted that I don't call upset every time something happens. I told him that this is why I stay off FB because it is just childish drama that I dont have time for and drama that I had no part in creating. My H admitted that he is the cause, but also still says "I am not trying to hurt you." He thinks that because he does not wake up with the intent to cause me harm that it makes the A and everything else ok.
3b, I think you did fine. I agree with Blues, your H is just being selfish and whiny. (OK I added the whiny part.) And let's face it, he probably has some guilt/shame about leaving the boys.
M - Whiny is the perfect description. It is honestly beyond ridiculous that he is coming to me for comfort after all the crap that he put me through for two years. If I went to him because I was upset about his actions, he would tell me that he is not in a position to make me feel better and that there is "nothing he can do about it." HA - Maybe try ending your A??
The good thing is that while stuff like this does bother it, it does not result in me spinning out of control. It actually just makes me wonder how long I am willing to put up with this. It is also a reminder of what I deserve and want in my life.
"The good thing is that while stuff like this does bother it, it does not result in me spinning out of control. It actually just makes me wonder how long I am willing to put up with this. It is also a reminder of what I deserve and want in my life."
I share the same feelings.
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
Long day today...I was in court all morning, headed to the office for the rest of the afternoon and now I am waiting to head into a client meeting at 7.
H has the kids so I will see him in a few hours. He have not talked since our phone call last night. I will put on a lovely smile and act if last night did not occur. We will see how he reacts.
Good plan 3-I have done this often after one of H anger spews. The next day is almost like a clean slate. Hope you're feeling better.
Me:33 H:35 M: 12 years D-15 S-6 Bomb: 6-2013 OW: 11/2013 Kids and I moved out: 11/2013 when he continued to lie about affair Kids and I moved back in 12/2013 H moved out 2/2014
You are doing excellent as always...Keep up the good work.
Own what you control....and nothing else.
So you are getting your hearing back....kind of a split blessing. On one hand hand you will feel better and be able to hear. On the other hand the boys being so quiet and the house being calm is about to end as you will once again be able to hear the terror of 3 little boys playing LOL.
Last night my H was back to being weird. He pretty much bolted without saying anything. I won't see him again until Saturday. Just going to focus on my time with the kids and forget about my pouting H.
H and the kids went to dinner with the FIL, MIL, SIL, BIL last night. It made me realize that I really am not part of their family anymore. They really only contact me if they need something (to pick up the kids, to ask for hand me down baby stuff, to help draft a will). They always include an opening line saying that they hope I am doing okay but then transitions into what they need from me. It makes me so sad because I was part of their family for 15 years. I guess that it helps me understand the reality of my sitch
Our schedule switched this week and H has the kids on Saturday. This is then first time that I can't figure out plans with my friends. Two friends just had babies last week. Everyone else is busy with family stuff. Anyone have any ideas for how to spend a Saturday night alone (out of the house)?
Hi LFW - You would think that the hearing loss would help but it actually made the boys seem even louder than normal. I guess that infected ears are even more sensitive to shriking yells, train whistels and dinosaur roars I am hoping that once I get my hearing fully back they won't seem as loud.
