So, What about Bob?

[woody112]

You are so right, bug. That's why I run these issues by the DB gang first.

[NTX_Dad]

My fear is that Bob knows your marriage was rocky and is trying to be flirtatious to see if he can tip it and make it fall over so he can pick up the pieces. During this phase (anytime really), a marriage doesn't need an outside force to confuse things. I suspect that is out EA's start. A little joking, a compliment here and there. I had a weird feeling he's "working it".

Unfortunately you can't control him. And you can't control your wife. You can only control you, so continue your path and continue your redemption, and be the guy that your wife would be a fool to leave.

You can nicely let her know sometime soon that it makes you feel uneasy considering his past. You'll just need to figure out the right time and the right tone to use.

[NTX_Dad]

Sorry I made a couple of typos above because I need to head to a meeting, but hopefully it made sense. lol

[woody112]

I know I can't control either one of them. I'm really trying to dig deep inside of me to get to what really bothers me. I guess I still have a lot of fear to deal with.

[NTX_Dad]

Woody, how's it going? Any updates?

[woody112]

For the first time in 12 years W says she knows I love her. I think that's a really positive step! But, her feelings for me just aren't there yet, and I think it's frustrating her. We have good days and bad days, and a lot of those nondescript kind of days... I still battle occasionally with feeling defensive, but I'm much quicker to make peace with myself. I'm not a jackass anymore, but I'm not yet the man I want to be.

Thanks for asking!

[NTX_Dad]

Good deal. It's a slow process to make the changes to be permanent. The good news is that you are recognizing traits you don't like and addressing them quickly.

Have you read the Five Love Languages? Maybe while working on yourself, you can interact with your W using her love language.