What were the problems in the M? I have a hard time believing that the argument over buying a house led to D.
Do you think your W had BF prior to BD? Seems pretty fast and most of the time I believe women prefer some "alone time" after BD unless there is an affair already going.
Um no. I'm sure there's much more than that. Can you explain your day to day interactions, what she argued with you about and what you argued with her about, etc.
The more details you give the more we'll be able to help. We can't go on just that short description.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I never hit her, abused her. We had some fights, but nothing huge. The last few months she was cold and angry, so I kept away from her out of fear. I never thought she'd divorce me. Her family has been through divorce. Two counselors recommended going out for dinner, she refused. Its like she got a baby from me and thats all she wanted. She won't discuss anything with me. Her last email was a veiled threat. If I spoke about anything other than my D's needs, who knows what she'd do. Like I told my counselor, this is LTR.
Day to day arguments. Not proactive with the baby, not spending enough time with them (I had two jobs, the 2nd job was only 3 month and I am back to just one), we were living like room mates, I wasn't emotionally there for her.
Day to day arguments. Not proactive with the baby, not spending enough time with them (I had two jobs, the 2nd job was only 3 month and I am back to just one), we were living like room mates, I wasn't emotionally there for her.
The six signs to a divorce sounded alot like what we had going on. Arguing about stupid stuff. Escalating fights, not physical. She said I over explained stuff. I apologized to much. I talked to much. Left my shoes on the floor. Alot of little things. She said there were glimmers of hope from me and the first 2 years were good. But, like I said she tells me via email not to put energy into healing the marriage.
I've tried everything including DB, nothing is working.
It's only been 6 weeks, you've barely crossed the starting line in this DB'ing marathon and you already want to declare it a failure? Look at some of the timelines around here, if you are expecting ANY positive movement from your W in less than a year then you are being far too optimistic. Sometimes WAS's will change their minds in less than a year, but it's fairly unusual. 1-2 years is more the norm, longer for MLC.
She wants this divorce badly. That's why I think its hopeless. If she wanted to work things out, she would have done so. If I want her back, it will be chasing my ex, which will only upset her. She looks at me like I'm a POS. She needs to hate me to do what she is doing. Also, she is telling everyone what a POS I supposedly am. I'm being very pleasant because thats all I can do. She has me by the short hairs. Its her being in control and being listened to that she wants. The whole thing is sick and twisted. I cry at home just so I can put on a brave face when I see her.
I could make a copy of what you just posted and put it in everyone's story on here. We all went through the EXACT thing you did. ON my side, my W had an EA with her boss and left. But things change over time. You really haven't been in this long enough.
I can tell you one thing though. Things will not change if all you do is concentrate on the negative.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
