I had tears in my eyes reading that my threads and story have helped others. (Hi Pie!) I am so glad, since I carried on posting it was always my intention to help others as this site literally saved my life I think at one time. I dont know what I would have done without it and the people on here. Too many to mention, but yes, including my old piecing pal Kalni, who continues to do well in her marriage with H. I was one of the lucky ones, but its true that we all learnt a ton of stuff, taking responsibility, exercising extreme forgiveness and dare I say it... patience!
So.. H and I went out for dinner this week for our 14 year anniversary (how Saturnian).. we dont count the gap anymore, in fact, 3 years after reconciling, we dont even talk about the gap anymore. I think thats quite extrodinary considering it was such a dramatic, devastating time! I remember that back then I couldnt stop crying or see a future for myself. Funny how life changes.
I dont take my relationship for granted anymore. I dont disrespect my husband and I always wince when I see couples tutting, rolling their eyes, bickering or doing that coupley moaning about each other to friends in front of their partner .. H and I both hate al of that and try and just lead by example in being KIND to each other at home and in public.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I am glad you posted! I have been reading through your old threads - I am a "non-married" and was searching out those people who were also going through the same thing just trying to decide whether or not I belonged here.
I had to laugh, though when you said in a post I recently read that an Aries girl would have booted him out the door. Apparently not this Aries girl!
Anyway Ali, I wanted to say that your posts and all of the great people you attracted to your thread have been very helpful to me. You were so honest with your fears and anxieties. All feelings I have but just do not express very well.
Congratulations Ali! I think so many reconciled DB fade out of the BB and when we're so caught up in the moment of separation we look for people like yourself but find very few. It's awesome you and H are doing so well.
And I agree, when friends complain about their marriage. When they make a mountain out of a molehill, it really bugs me. They haven't been where we've been, appreciating our relationship and knowing that we have so much to do with our unhappiness.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Wow Ali, SO nice that you came back for an update! I'm SO glad that things are still well with you two Gives me hope somedays when I'm feeling low. H and I are back together, but I'm still ni lots of pain Most days are actually fine, but every now and then I have a 'low' day, and just want to cry, and fall into a heap on the floor This is after 1 .5 years back together. Today is one of those days.... My pain comes mostly I think from the inability for me to get over the OW. She is far prettier than I am or ever could be, and I find myself even lower when I feel a bout of low self esteem from this coming on (stemming from thoughts of her). I'm by no means an ugly person, but FEEL ugly because of this - on my low days, and don't know how to stop feeling that way I also feel very scared to love H again....I feel like I built a wall that can never come down for him or anyone again Anyway....like I said this is one of my low days....hopefully tomorrow will be a bit brighter...
Take care Ali And PLEASE keep posting Wish Kalni would give us an update every now and then too xx
Hey hi pie (Hi Ali-lets talk)! We are doing fine, it's been more than 3 years now that we reconciled. Things are still good. We have our fights etc. but our life together is much better than it has been. Kalni
Hi Kalni I think of you and Ali so often...wonder how you are. Thanks for the update.Im so glad you are doing ok. Seems like its only on the low days I come and look at the forum lol. Another low day today. H seems very aware that what happened really was a HUGE mistake in his life, and reminds me often. I feel like I should 'respond' more to his efforts to let me know that he's sorry, all I can muster is a smile and a tight hug, as I still feel pain, I feel like my emotions have gone dead ...on purpose...:( Big hug girls xxx thinking of you
Most days are actually fine, but every now and then I have a 'low' day, and just want to cry, and fall into a heap on the floor