I hope that you are doing well these days. I'm glad to see that you are getting out and enjoying your time w/your friends.
Yes, mlc does drag on forever and it is a very slow time period for them. Unfortunately, while they are "sleeping away", time in the real world is moving rapidly and the world sure doesn't stand still for very long.
Sounds like your h was upset that a couple of things were moved around in the basement. He didn't like someone messing w/his things, just like kids that share a room and one moves things around. He'll get over it.
I am glad to see he purchased a new kettle for you. At least he noticed that the other was gone. It took him long enough to notice it was gone. LOL!
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
S11 said that the haircutting people must have been mean to him.
This ^ ^ ^ ^ made me smile
Little boys can be so cute!
Sounds like you are doing the right things, but H is so busy maybe he is not taking the time to think or work through his issues.
My H just drank to ease the pain and not work through his issues.
I'm so glad your H got you the kettle you needed replaced! That was a thoughtful gesture even if it wasn't accompanied by a hug and a kiss
Thanks for asking about the scorpion sting. I put activated charcoal on it right away and had no pain after about 15 minutes.
Hope you have a good week, rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Mother’s Day: He told me Happy Mother’s day and gave me two cards. One was actually from him, a husband card. He apologized for not getting me flowers, and said that it was because I was going out of town and wouldn’t be home. He included a gift card for a salon that he had previously arranged for me to have a massage at.
He also hugged me, but no kiss like at Easter.
He also hugged me and told me to have a safe trip.
I guess the hugs tuckered him out because I was gone for a week and didn’t hear from him the whole time. I took three of our boys out of town to attend our granddaughter’s kindergarten program.
H knew he was invited also but didn’t express a desire to go. He said he would call. That didn’t happen.
But I had a great time. And I got to bring our two little granddaughters home with us for a visit.
I have been taking care of 6 kids aged 2 to 19. Lots of dishes, lots of tantrums, lots of crayons, lots of laundry, lots of Sponge Bob. And the 2 year old is potty training.
Yesterday H took the day off. He is never off on Mondays, but I surmised that this was his holiday from last week since he had to work last week. He never mentioned that he would be off.
He worked in the yard, and I heard him say to the girls that he didn’t have time to watch them outside. I was busy in the kitchen and couldn’t supervise them.
A few minutes later I looked out the window and saw the girls and my youngest son outside with him working in the yard.
Well, H was working and they were watching intently. It must have something to do with 2 and 6 year old curly blond adorableness.
Later H came into the kitchen and said something to me. I don’t even remember what he said, but he looked normal and smiling.
It almost seemed like the old H, like everything was like it used to be, and that he would be joking with me and grabbing me any second. That didn’t happen.
OK—I wrote that update last week. The grandbabies are gone, two of my kids are working, and two are at camp. I was alone today for the first time in I can’t remember when for about 4 whole hours.
H was off work today, but he offered to take kids to work and was gone most of the day. He offered to make dinner, which he did. We were alone, and ate without too much conversation, and of course none of it meaningful, but it was polite and pleasant, as always.
Before I forget, I mentioned to my mom within the last month that I never see H on his phone, which is a work phone. I never hear it ring, and I never hear him talking on it. That’s a 180 from the old H, who used to get home with it plastered on his ear and hand it to me all the time to talk to one friend of his or another.
I emailed him yesterday about some family business, and noticed for the first time that his reply, and all of his replies since March, have been sent on an iphone.
I didn’t even know, and neither do my kids, that he even had one, and that his company switched equipment. He used to have a Blackberry. You would think that he would want them to know because they all have ipods and could message him for free. Apparently he keeps it on silent when he’s home.
I didn’t say anything, just filed it in the Just Another Thing He’s Hiding folder.
Wow, MissA, I've been thinking about you too, wondering how you are. Thanks so much for updating us.
That folder of Things He is Hiding doesn't seem to have a limit to it, does it?
You're a strong and gracious woman. It seems like you're enjoying your life even if your H isn't participating.
rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
I didn’t realize how long it had been since I updated.
Starting in July, we’ve had a busy schedule, which is only slowing down now, just in time for the holidays. I’ve barely had time to catch my breath.
S19 is doing well in college, all A’s. He recently got a job tutoring on campus.
The rest of us have been busy since the summer with marching band and concert band. These two activities have really helped S14 blossom.
Guess who is learning how to play the flute?
I joined the band myself. It’s not easy learning how to play an instrument at my advanced age, but it sure is fun I so look forward to my practice time, but it does cut into my knitting time.
As far as my situation: I looked over my notes over the last year, and what struck me was that the main change in my situation was my reaction to it. Certain things still hurt my feelings, but I bounce back more quickly.
I spent a lot of time over the summer clarifying what I believe about love, marriage, how I want to be and act.
I don’t see a whole lot of change in H. Our main topic of (brief) conversation is still the weather. He still clearly doesn’t want anything to do with me, although he is unfailingly polite. He tells me sometimes when he is going to be late. He asks my opinions of things occasionally.
The few positives I see are still related to youngest son. H came home early a few days before Halloween to carve a pumpkin with him. He wasn’t in the greatest mood, and made some nasty comments to him, but S11 was undaunted. He adores his father.
H also took him to the mall, pet store, and grocery store recently, spending quite a few hours together. S11 had such a good time. He told me he liked spending time with his dad.
There is still not much interaction with our other sons. H went on a business trip recently, and S19 didn’t even realize he was gone.
This is because, when he is home, he is up in the bedroom. He will come down to eat, or do laundry, or make coffee, and then he walks right back upstairs. I have no idea what he does up there. Our master bedroom closet is stuffed with snack food, granola bars, crackers, cookies.
I used to think that he was just avoiding me, but S19 said that even when I am not home, H still lives in the bedroom.
We still don’t see or hear his phone, except on rare occasions.
I’m still giving him space, not asking any questions. Doing my best to live day by day.
Wishing everyone well. Thankful for this place and the wonderful people here. I don't know how I would have survived last year without the support and understanding.
Thanks for the update Miss A, it was good to hear from you
Sounds like not too much change in H, but there has been change and growth in you. That's always a good thing
Sorry to hear he's hiding out in his room, complete with his own food pantry. Does he eat meals with you and the boys? I remember hrm's H wouldn't eat any of the food she bought or cooked. They can be so strange at times.
I'm familiar with the courteous roommate routine. It stinks. Makes you want to jump up and yell, "okay, enough! We're married with kids, remember?" Except that would probably put their brains into overload...lol!
I'm glad you're doing well, getting out there and living while H's in la la land. Please let us know how you're doing from time to time
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
It's good to hear from you, thanks for checking on me.
Yes, he will come down to eat meals with us, and he will eat stuff that I cook. In the last month he has had some major dental issues, and has had to eat soft foods. This is the time of year that I typically make soups, so he has been eating that.
I agree completely that the courteous roommate routine stinks, but I suppose it's better than the spew some people here have to deal with. I did notice, especially after his nasty comments to S11 pre-pumpkin carving, that he never has said such ugly things to me, not even pre- bomb.
Thanks again, tvs, for stopping by. Hope you have a good weekend.
