Im doing well...smiling often and trying to be as positive about the outcome as I can. I've been around here and there trying to share some advice with others, but as far as updating mine goes there's nothing to tell. She hasn't moved closer to trying to work things out, and hasn't moved closer to divorce. We have only had brief interactions in the last 3 weeks.....thats when we had a good one, then she pushed and ran and i've just continued on with life and waited to see if she'll come back again to test the waters.
I hope everyone is well and i'll still be out there trying to pay back to others what was so graciously shared with me.
waited to see if she'll come back again to test the waters.
Bet you a beer that she does?
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Mrs D...its been a long time. I haven't had to buy Denver a beer yet, but may be headed down that road. She has begun discussing seeing a counselor...we're still living seperately and hardly speak but its a step in the right direction i guess...
Denver, im gonna search you out but if you see this shoot me a message, probably gonna need some help on this one b/c I think its been long enough and i've let resentment build up enough that im not all the way "in" on working this thing out..she's willing to see a counselor and "try" according to her, and I've agreed to do the same...and im hoping my feelings change and change quickly b/c as it stands now im just not excited about the prospects.
Before you ask yes I have been to dinner a few times with someone...nothing physical, just friendship and laughs, but its put things in a different perspective for me...and its beyond amazing...add me to the list of people whose spouse isnt willing to even talk about possibly reconciling until they move on...drop the rope completely and then bam it changes.
Here's my problem with the entire thing...we've been completely apart since June...no sex, no nothing...barely a hello, and I thought when it started I couldnt make it through this. Obviously i did make it through and im a better person today b/c of it, but im scared to death of putting real hope and effort into working this out and then if it doesnt I have to go through this entire process of healing again. It has sucked and it took me a full 6 months to start to realize i was gonna be ok either way.
Just to clarify...i didnt mean going to dinner with someone new was beyond amazing....i meant that its beyond amazing how uncanny it is that when you finally get to where you can let go they come back toward you.
La...thanks for the advice. At least for now she has chosen a counselor that wants to start off by seeing us seperately so im at least going to give it a few weeks and see how I feel. I know you can't get into it half way and expect it to work at all, i've gotta either be in or out, but the truth is I dont know right now if I want a R with my wife or not.
I think I do, if we can build one that is built the correct way on strong foundations of trust, honesty, caring etc....but I still have a part of me that says its never working out b/c we're just too far apart. Anyway, kind of some mindless ramblings, but it was good to be away from here for a while, and now its good to be back here.
I really am in a good place in my life, im very happy and am ready to move forward either with my wife or without but im willing to at least see the counselor a bit and see what he's all about before I close my mind completely.
