Wen - I try to remind myself, dating at this age - these are GROWN MEN. They should be able to handle someone telling them you just don't think they're a match. It's not like rejecting your boyfriend when you were both fifteen.
I personally would prefer someone just tell me up front if they aren't feeling it.
I must be in a better place, because I have very little to report. X acts like my roommate/friend. Yesterday he gave me his extra McDonalds game pieces.
We had a showing of the house, but the woman who looked at the house was crazy. In so many ways. The realtor told me that crazy people have money too. But my experience with crazy people is that they have delusions and waste my time!
I will believe she is serious when she puts in a decent offer with a suitable amount of ernest money into an escrow account.
I hope everyone has a nice weekend!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Has anyone out there done Tapping, Emotional Freedom Technique? I posted a link on Facebook with a link to the Ballyhoo song "Walk Away" and one of my dear friends caught the exact phrase in the song which made me share it. And she sent me a link to a video to release anger through tapping.
I've been trying it for a couple days. And I actually did get some emotional relief from this.
This is to help those of us who are stuck on issues. There are also some methods to just get you through the minute by minute waves of anger, sadness, overwhelmed-ness. They are using it for PTSD treatment. And aren't we a little bit like PTSD people? We did get a bomb dropped on us!
Anyway, I see this as something that goes along very well with DB philosophy. Any thoughts?
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
My sister has tapped for years. She sometimes goes to EFT conferences. I have always thought it was crazy, but she tells me story after story of people able to release pent-up emotions and even physical pain being released.
And, really, I think she is much happier and well -adjusted since she started doing this. She even uses it if she visits my parents and my dad has an episode of anger, she would go in a back room and "tap" for ten minutes and emerge totally calm. I know it sounds strange, but looking at her, it does seem to work.
I haven't gotten the courage up to try it yet, but I think I might when I see her next. She says things like, "I deeply and completely accept myself.". She says if you can repeat this or similar mantra to yourself several times a day it can really make a difference, even if you don't "tap".
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
My W has been using EFT/tapping and it does make a difference, especially with the anxiety and letting go of the past....so if it works on a MLC'er................. It just might work for you....
It also helped me a year ago release my buried abandonment issues from my Granfather's death when I was 15, so it can help those old wounds.
Look up Brad Yates on YT for some free follow along videos to start with, he's one of W's favorites.
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
I am having a weird day. Went with my youngest to his follow-up to tantruming and breaking his hand and my bathtub. Saw an actual psychiartist. Who told my son to get a job, quit drinking booze and to smoke less pot...... JEEZE! Also told him to go back on the Zoloft. DUH!
Then S22 came down and spent the afternoon in the house (As opposed to his semi-detached studio apt.). He was beating on his computer, trying to fix it. I finally told him he had to quit making so much sudden type noises, he was making my chest hurt. I find violence, even towards inantimate objects, to be stressful.
So then he started announcing when he was going to make noise by saying: "Incoming" before he pounded on the computer. Which didn't help my attitude. I went further away from him in the house, and turned my music up really loud. He finally calmed down.
This set me off to a crappy evening. I'm trying to figure out how to pay all the bills. I sure hope one of the many jobs I've been applying for comes through. Because I don't like living on the edge. At all.
And I really want to tell my X off. I keep finding myself sitting with him after dinner. Which for whatever stupid reason I'm still cooking for him. And still shopping and buying his breakfast foods.
And I'm grumpy because I know I need to just get this part over. One of the questions I was asked early on was what was I getting out of my relationship with now X. I now see that I was getting nothing out of that relationship. He had quit being in it years ago. Maybe 12-13 years ago when he first told me he wanted a D.
I was/am just a creature of habit. I cooked another nice dinner tonight. X practically licked the bowl the chicken enchilladas were in. Did he even say thank you? Nope, just handed me the bowl. Which I dutifully put into the blankey-blank dishwasher.
What a guy! Okay, off to tap this out of my system!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
