I think I see the picnic!

[2chiquitos]

labug-
I took a leap and asked my mom to help me out. She offered to help me out once during the week for an hr and once again on sun for an hr. She's getting older and can't really handle my kids much. Also, I will be asking H to take them both on Fri/Sat/Sun for a set time. This will help a lot.

bustingout-
You know exactly how I feel. I also believe that we're such strong parents because we need to be both mom n dad. Sending you lots of hugs

Arsene-
I'm sorry D8s relationship w mom is being affected by all this but you're right, it's their relationship and we have no control over it. I'm working at letting go.

I called H and asked him not to come tomorrow morning as we had planned. He resisted but I insisted. These are the texts he sent me. BTW I was very kind with my words so as not to sound like I'm doing this out of anger.

H: It feels like [censored] that you had a good day (today) because i wasn't around

H:I know that I shouldn't be one to complain but I hope you don't mind me expressing myself

H:I was hoping to be there at least tomorrow because I didn't see them today. I know it was my decision.

BTW: H went to an all day hike so he is barely driving back. Truth is I think he flew to a SF for a day game. I seriously don't know but I hate that he doesn't work on building that trust with me.

It's a reminder that I need to detach and I need to physically detach because I see him so much. People tell me that we act so comfortable with each other you'd think we're back together. (in reference to our conversations and jokes)

I want to tell him this in reference to his above texts. Please advise!

I’m not doing this to hurt you. It’s the total opposite. It is time for me to focus back on myself.

It was such an eye opener last night when you said that I have had these depressive states in the past because YOU’RE RIGHT! I have and I forgot all about that. This is an area I need to work on. However in order for me to work on this, I need to focus on myself.

Last night I thought that by rehashing what happened would help me but you’re right! It will only hurt me more! Instead I need to heal from what I already know.

I love you with all my heart H and I want to recover from all this as much as you do.
After reading this, I'm thinking of just not responding.

[jks]

Sometimes short and sweet may be better.

H, I'm not doing this to hurt you. It's time for me to focus on myself so I can be the best mother I can be.

You don't necessarily want to feed him more things that he can try to defend or argue. Also, some times I don't know that these WAS's deserve to know our up to the minute feelings. I think feelings change so much throughout this whole process that it can actually do you some good to keep them to yourself until you fully understand what it is that you need and want.

(You may already be there, this may be something I'm putting out there because it's something that I've been working on within my sitch a lot lately.)

[Arsene]

I'd go with JKS on this. Sometimes less is more.

[labug]

I agree^^^

And I wanted to ask because you mentioned it on kg's thread-did you get medical advice that you shouldn't take ADs while breastfeeding?

[2chiquitos]

jks n Arsene, I didn't send the email and kept it short and sweet. mostly listened to him. I felt so detached in the conversation, interesting.

labug, my OB said she wouldn't prescribe it to me for that reason, breastfeeding.

[scaredsilly]

vero, you're in such a hard spot with two small children, one just a baby. i'm so sorry you have to do this by yourself. it's good that your mother is going to help you. you are right in asking your H to take them, too. you deserve some time to yourself.

are there any meet ups in your area for mothers with small children? if you can get to know other mothers, you can exchange play dates and get some relief, if only with your son.

((()))

[labug]

"my OB said she wouldn't prescribe it to me for that reason, breastfeeding."

It's too bad your OB believes that to be true.

[2chiquitos]

This is weird. I don't feel like posting on my sitch. I only feel like reading/writing on others. Possible sign of detachment??

[scaredsilly]

Vero, I'm feeling the same way lately. Maybe we're just tired of it. I know when I post a lot, I'm anxious so I think it's a good thing.

I hope you're feeling better.

[2chiquitos]

SS,
I think you're right. I am tired of all this. I'm worried I may be depressed too which is why I don't care much?

I suddenly don't feel like doing things I enjoy, walking the dog, tidying up around the house, etc.