You wish you were stronger?? Um, please look at what you just said a couple sentences before. 6 months of no contact? And never once you asked him to come back or rethink his decision? That is some of the most amazing strength I have ever seen!!
I've been wondering about you and despite what your H has decided you seem to be pretty ok. I have no idea about contacting him at this point. Perhaps making him do the work and making the first move to progress things could still spark something in him that he may really be making the wrong decision. Who knows... I'm so sorry!!
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
JKS--The first few weeks I was not so good, but yes, never asked him to move back home. I did at one point...back in March tell him that I don't think this is right decision for us and did mention it the other day in regards to something he said to me about divorce....I just said something like "Deep down in my heart, I don't believe in divorce or think this is the right path for us, but I am wishing you that happiness that you are looking for and I have moved on..." (Not that I really have moved on, but in some sense I do really think my H thinks that I have...
Who knows..I, like you, and endlessly confused!!!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
I understand you feeling in limbo and wondering if you're waiting for something that will never happen.
As long as you know that you don't want a divorce, I'd recommend just lying low and letting your H take care of everything. Maybe having him go through all of the work necessary to end the M will make him take the time to think everything through.
In the end, the result may be the same, but you'll know that you didn't help participate in a divorce you didn't want and you stood for your M.
Sometimes I do wonder if I'm just waiting around, while my H goes out and does whatever he wants, but I know that I'm not ready to date and my life wouldn't be much different if I was divorced, so I don't want to pressure him to make a choice right now.
You are doing amazing at not pressuring him or asking him to rethink his decisions, so I think you should be able to wait a little longer if you want to. If/when you decide you're done, then you can go ahead and make the process move faster.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
He is so confused right now as his long text a week or so ago indicates. He is searching for deep answers right now. Dont pressure him, he feels the pressure with or with out you asking him about it. He doesnt understand why either, he is in limbo as well
Hang in there! Keep reading, keep posting
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Update: I ended up hiring my atty yesterday and putting down my retainer fee.
About a week ago, I found out that he has introduced his gf to his family and they are all friends on fb. I just can't take the disrespect and lying anymore. I need a man that knows this is not what you do to someone you 'once loved' or cared about or a man that realizes marriage takes work and that it's not always roses every day!!!
I still love my husband and have this small (tiny) hope that when he gets served that this is not what he wants, but I don't want the man that he is now. I want back the relationship we had 8 months ago!
Either way, I know I'll be okay. I've become a better me lately and I like who I am (even though I liked me before my husband left me). Now, only if I could lose a few pounds, I'd be the person who I really want to be (one of my goals ....lose 10 pounds!!)
Now, where can I find Mr. Right?!?!?
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
I'm having a sad day today. For my break, so far, I've been pretty happy and occupied. Good thing I go back to work soon and will be doing a lot of work this week to prepare for the new school year.
I feel sad, because for the first time in a looong time, I feel lonely. I just want someone home with me to share my amazing life with! My friends are amazing and have been doing a great job supporting me, but I want that connection with someone again.
I guess it's just a day that I miss my H because 8 years ago around this time is when we started seeing each other and we made it official on August 1, 2004! It's just nights like these that I need to get a hobby or go work out to get my mind off things...well that's what I am going to do! ...maybe even deep clean something...haha!
Thanks for listening!
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
So I filed! I could not take the lies and deceit anymore. He is not someone I want to be married to, especially since he has brought his OW to meet his family and everyone seems just okay with everything. After I found that out, it was the last straw and I filed. I could not wait any longer for him to figure things out and file if he wanted the divorce so bad.
Once he was served, he was upset with me because it was 'unclassy' for me to serve him at work. Well....I don't have a home address for you because you are too secretive. And it upsets me because not once did I ever show up at his previous house or beg him to come home.
We have court in Aug because I filed for temp relief to get some money for the mortgage until I get back on my feet. He said 'verbally' that he would give me the money, but has not done it,s o I filed a motion with my attorney.
He had the audacity today to tell me that I am delusional and he's so glad he got away from me...it hurts me when he says these things, because I feel that I've done everything better than most would. I helped him move, put on that happy face when he moved, and try hard not to argue with him.
I know I need to work on not fighting back with him, but I can't just let someone say mean, hurtful things without taking a stand to defend myself, but then again, what's the use of arguing with him. It's like I'm talking to a teenager.
It's all just still hard and I hate seeing this side of him and the bad he brings out in me. I really need to work on being the bigger person..
M: 27 H: 28 T: 8 yrs M: 6 yrs Sep: 2/18/12 (I have no feelings for you!) EA/PA Uncovered: 2/26/12 H introduces OW to his fam: June H moves ALL stuff out: July
