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Joined: Apr 2012
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peringo Offline OP
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We met in Peru...
I made top dollar in my field...
OM made more, different line of work...

Marriage made her legal to be here... believe me that is on my mind...

She gave up a very good career in Peru...


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
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peringo Offline OP
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Her father comes from a wealthy family with unexplained income sources...
He was a player and partier...
My wife has had nothing to do with him for 15 years...


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
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Peringo unfortunatetly I have seen this happen many times. I think your W trully loved u but the notion of coming to the US is so strong that it adds more complexities. I don't think there is any literature regarding marrying someone from another country and divorce rates. I have seen this in my owm social network. Kaffe made a good point. Go back and read it. Right now you need a plan as to how you will get through this.

I noticed you are focusing on your W. STOP. She will get angry that's how it works. You need to focus on you and son. The thing about the Latin man is BS. Your W wants that and expects that from her man. Its time to get your b@@ls back, as Mr Bond will say. Forget about what your W is saying or doing. Your M is dead. Sorry.

Now lets talk about you and what you are gonna do for u.
List 3 things that you always wanted to do but never did. i.e loose weigh, jump out of a plane, etc..... And if you could do things that would include son even better.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
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peringo Offline OP
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As a single person I have done many things and travel many places... so that may be difficult.

3 things...
Sky diving has been on my mind lately

I'm gonna have to think, I have fulfilled most of man single man dreams... atleast the ones I remember...


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
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peringo Offline OP
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So what you are saying is there is no hope of getting my wife back, and giving my son a family he deserves...


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
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Posts: 2,906
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If I could predict the future I wouldn't be here, don't u think? No that's not what I'm saying. You need to save you 1st. She MUST see a strong confident man that is happy with himself. A man in control but not controlling,or critical. That is why you need to GAL.....

I had a really hard time understanding/accepting that my M was finished. I still struggle but getting better. There will be a stage where you will begin to question if you even want to get back together. Very confusing times my friend. But it does get easier. So again think of things you would like to experience, things that do not include W.


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
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peringo Offline OP
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Posts: 149
That may have been what I needed to hear that she may have just married me for a green card.... but it zapped all my motivation, atleast in the short term...


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,906
Likes: 1
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Posts: 2,906
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How are you. Any updates?


M 53
D 20
Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24
Together 26 yrs
Married 16
W Filed for D 7/21/11
Served 9/6/11
D final 8/28/12

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

John Wooden





Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
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peringo Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 149
Updates.... W is comprising a little on custody but not much.

Its been 100+ all week... and humid... yuck!

I let go of the hope of wife reconciling, just enjoying the time with my boy and doing my best to get through the days I don't have him.

Thats where I'm at.


Me: 37 W:33
S: 2
M: 9/5/09
Suspected: 1/7/12
Confirmed: 2/10/12
Served: 3/29/12
W moved out 3/30/12
First court 5/17/12
HELP!
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 170
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Posts: 170
ur sitch is quite similar to mine (i suspect my H married me for the visa). Knowing/feeling that we were married for a reason other than love does take the fight out of us. I've been thinking about this a lot, and whatever the reason for the marriage, we need to fight for it as best as we can, because our kids deserve to be raised by both parents (hopefully in a loving home).

So, it's not over yet, keep fighting....because your son deserves that. and you need to know that you did the best you could. Focus on YOU, thats what is important now


Me 33, H 34
T 15 (on and off, 7 years this stretch)
M 4
DD 3
OW July 2010, IDLY - Oct 2010

1st sep 28/5/11-14/8/11 (my idea)
OW confirmed 25/11/11 (H travelled with OW 26/11/11)
I moved out 3/12/11
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