Me41(2nd M) W38(3rd M) M7 T10 SD 16 SS13 D6 ILYBINILWY 3/12 AOM 4/17 Bomb 5/27
Story as she would tell it. I never turned out to be the person I posted I was online. We met right as each of our previous marriages were ending.Making out on the second date. I felt I loved her early on.
We married and I became injured and went on workmens comp soon after we were married. That was the beginning of the end for her.I was unable to work or be seen doing anything was in a holding pattern for 2 years till case was settled. During that time we decided to have my only Daughter.Five months into her pregnancy I was busted looking at porn on the web.That happen maybe 2 more times over the course of the 10 years.
I also expressed to her that i found other women attractive while on business trips but was never unfathfull.
I have been a messy person not keeping up with my share of the household after the injury but am better now.
We had a religious reawakening 2 years ago and were married in the catholic church after a couples weekend.
Maybe 6 months ago hints that she was not happy. Followed by I cant do it any more ect for the last 3 months. Me pleading to stay
About a month ago She told me that she had a encounter that was more than just eye contact and can,t stop dreaming about how it could be to be involved with someone passionately.
A few weeks later I love u but not in love Followed by I want a divorce.
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So i up to this point have been pleading for her to stay. Have just begun my first 180 personal counseling and GAL stuff along with phone coaching.
Last night we had a melt down in public and she seems thru.
I have been given the advice to call her bluff at the next incident telling her she should leave if its that bad.
Im scared.
Planing to stay out one night this week where she can wonder where I am and I expect that will trigger something. I don't want to be the one showing my kids my back by being the one to leave. Am afraid of her doing crazy stuff like leaving with the kids on the night of a blow up.
Been married 7 years. Together 10. D her 1st infidelity. D her 2nd. Lack of intimacy. After asking for change. And he decided to chafe when it was too late.
I resemble a mix of bolts to her been working on change. For a while. But more of the same type stuff.
Who is giving you the advice to call her bluff and to stay away from home and make her wonder?
When your W says she's not happy, do you know why?
Typically unhappiness comes from emotional needs not being met, and this can happen when you and your wife need to have your needs met differently. People usually send the way they want to receive, and if that doesn't match up to what your spouse needs, you can have a frustrating dynamic of unhappiness.
There are a couple books that talk about this -- "The Five Love Languages" says that the 5 ways people send and receive are as follows:
Acts of Service Quality Time Physical Touch Receiving Gifts Words of Affirmation
Of those five, what is your W's primary? What makes her feel the most loved? When you DO things for her, what you spend time talking to her, when you hug her, when you buy her things, or when you TELL her how much you love her? Do you know?
The book "His Needs, Her Needs" looks at it a bit differently, it says there are 10 top "emotional needs":
Affection Sexual Fulfillment Conversation Recreational Companionship Honesty and Openness Physical Attractiveness Financial Support Domestic Support Family Commitment Admiration
As you can see, there's quite a bit of overlap. From the list above, what are your W's TOP emotional needs, and how have you done at satisfying them?
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
This is the best place to be under the cirumstances.
Don't leave your home and your kids until you are fully aware of all your rights and the ramifications of doing such.
Instead of looking for ways to manipulate your w, lets look for what got you to this place and how you can become a better person given this opportunity.
Well tonight was the night I came down to go to a kid function with my wife wearing new clothes. Felt good for noticed by others and helped my self esteem . I did not stay out all night as discussed with my coach mostly because the new looking me got quite a response from my w. she asked why I got the clothes. Where I was going , called the dinner we had before the event.a date, lolled all chocked up during the night. I went away For 90 minutes when we got home but she went on a walk and was out when I got back. Still kinda fearing sticking it in her face do early in on the db.
Thanks for the help. Was rocky Last night not shire how she handled seeing me all dressed up. I will continue with keeping up My appearance. Feels good. Trust
Ok , so tonight went as followed. We had a talent show for my kids camp to attend as she was doing a sleepover there . I got dressed up in my new clothes all decked out with new perfume. She was stunned. Asked where I was going. Out with her. She got emotional seeing me dressed nice . We ate out and when the bill came she paid and said jokingly . So I'm paying for our date.
After we got hom I said I had to go check something for my mom and journal. She said see ya latter. Was gone 90 minutes and she left to go to our friends down the street.
Seen sleeping on polar opposites of the bed lately.
FF. tonight. She confronts me about leaving her when we have a night with out kids. Says it cements why she feels this won't work as the relationship she desires. I tell he I was only giving her space ... She has been non responsive I conversation. ... That I want nothing more than to be with her.
We cuddle and soft petting talk .
I think She was turned on. Imy instincts is to do more act as if we are happy. While she is still in it with me but need to GAL. And 180 at the same time as giving her space. Finding the ballance. Any help her please. Have a pool party to dah to go to and and I think she desires sex.
