Quoting kevinlost: She actually told her son14 that she had given herself to him for the last 14 years and that now its her turn to live her own life ... Talk about being selfish.... Hello their your children. They are going to rely on you for the rest of your life. The devil has really gotten ahold of my loving caring W, and turned her into a demon.
Oh yeah. little bit of WAW, a little bit of MLC. It is actually turning into more of a MLC. She told me this morning in an email that I know that she cares about me. Every once in a while she tels me she loves me. She will be 32 in July and her oldest turns 15 around the same time. I think its hit her hard that she could be a grandmother now. Luckily our son has more sense than that. The last thing he wants to do be a daddy. Having a two year old brother is making him see the reality of his coices.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I dont know what is going on with W. just when I think it is over she tells me she loves me, maybe just a slip. But then yesterday she calls in sick and spends the day with me. She took me shopping and bought me two new pairs of shoes, and Shirt and slacks.
She has started telling me how good I looked.
We have been talking a lot in the last 2 days. I feel she has a lot of pain still in her heart. I feel that when she lets go of the pain she will be able to love me again.
After my mother died i just shut down emotionally, and I shut her out for almost two years. I am just now starting to comprehend the depths of the hurt that she is dealing with. I see more and more what I wasnt doing to be a good husband for her. I do a lot of apologizing to her when we address the things that I didnt do. Things that I now do for her. I guess it will take a long time for her and her heart to trust that the changes I have made for the better are here to stay. I see her pulling closer to me. But then days when she talks to om she pulls away. I guess that this is normal.
She told me the other night that if I knew the half of what she did I would never take her back. yes I would, Yes I can. Thats unconditional love. But not knowing the whole truth is so scary, because All I can do is dwell on the absolute worst thoughts that I can think of. I have to get those thoughts out of my head.
Well moving soon. She is staying here with the kids in the house. I can only hope and pray that she misses me and wants to move to where I am when the kids are out of school. We will have to sell the house eventually.
I have been talking to her about the future. I know not good. But these have been more about what I am going to do not what we are going to do. So I am talking about what I will do after we D. All I can do is leave it to God now. I cannot allow myself to burn any bridges, by getting angry.
I had started to try and distance myself a little and just the little I did do she took notice of imediately. I think it scared her that I was pulling away from her. this is part of my experiementation that Michele talks about in DR. Seing what works and what doesnt.
I know in my heart that she loves me. I know in time she will know that too. I just cant be impatient. time is my friend right now.
I am so confused. I Know she is too.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
W sends me a text on Friday that she loves me and wants to work on our M. I wasnt too overjoyed and such. Didnt want to look too enthusiastic did that last time She told me this. Spent the weekend at her Grand parents house. had a great time. Then comming home Sunday she started growing distant again. Said she felt trapped again. needed to get out. She left not long after we got home. Didnt come home until about midnight. I can only assume she went to Om house to see him. today she trying again. She is trying to get away from om. Trying to get a handle on this. She wants to stay with me but just too connected to om. Trying not to pressure her. Just going with the flow. I know it will take time to get over om. I have time.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Getting over her other relationship will take time. Hopefully it will happen, but don't force it. It's like us trying to get our S/O's out of our system at least enough to detach.
well Friday she loves me again. Wants to work on m. Sunday she feels trapped, huge mistake. She is so confused. I want off the roller coaster. I am sick. i am tired. I am physically and emotionally drained. I cant keep this up. I am ready for it to be over even if it means Divorce. Of coarse that not what I want but I am just at that breaking point. Everytime I pull away from her she comes back. Maybe I need to lrt and it will give her the desire to save the marriage. I know in my heart she wants to but she just half heartedly tries. She cant give up the om. The rich guy. I am just the guy raising her kids with her. The expendable guy. The guy who watches the kids while she lies about ataying late at work or going out with girlfriends so she can see om. i am tired.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
W is seeking out the help of a counselor. She is supposed to make an appointment today. Baby steps.
She came to me last night and told me that she ended it with one of the 2 om's..... She told him she just wanted to be friends. He went off on her. Cussing and such. I am proud of her for ending it and shocked that she was able to talk to me about it. Now if she can stick to it and end the other affair. She seemed to be in good spirits afterwards. Singing and such last night.
I actualy feel like she wants to come back to me but is afraid if her past about what she has done comes out that I will drop her. I have tried to re-assure her that what is in the past is behind us and that all we have to do is look to the future. I have already imagined her doing the worst things I can think of, so of coarse the truth cant be that bad or worse. Right? Anyways still in limbo land with W and work. Work keeps putting off the date at wich I will know when I am going to move or even if I have to. I am ready to move. I feel w will move too in the end. But it would be a new start in a new environment for the both of us. She hates her job so she would be able to find a new one. But if I dont have to move thats fine too. I am just impatient because its such a big event in my life, not knowing sucks.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
I found out today I am moving. I have to move to Atlanta. I see the move as the end of my marriage. W will not commit to anything. She cant she is too screwed up to commit to me again. I give up. I can move out, move on, find someone that can love me for me, not see me for what I am not compared to another man. I give up. I cant let her break my heart any more. If she decides to save our marriage she needs to start working and prove to me that its for real this time. Twice she has come back only to leave again. I am so exausted. Physically and mentally I cant do it any more. I dont eat I cant sleep. I cant do it anymore. I need to move on and start a new life for me and my son.... Maybe he can come live with me.. He is my major motivation to save my marriage right now. I dont want him to grow up in a divorced family like me. I hate the fact that I grew up without a father.
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust. A little less time for the rest of the world, And more for the two of us. Kisses each mornin, I love yous at night, Just like it used to be.
Quote: I need to move on and start a new life for me and my son.... Maybe he can come live with me.. He is my major motivation to save my marriage right now. I dont want him to grow up in a divorced family like me. I hate the fact that I grew up without a father.
how far is atlanta from where you are living now? will you be close enough to still see your son with regularity?
i feel your pain. God knows I've felt many the same feelings for a while now. Ironically, last year (after my wife returned from first separation) I often questioned myself as to why I bothered badgering her to come back - same old problems, etc, etc,... This time around I'm not badgering or anything.. actually took my wedding ring off as well (though that hurts somewhat). I do realize this time though that a lot of the hurt and pain I feel is my own. I don't feel like much of a success as I've been struggling a lot with my business... now I have decisions to make in terms of work and location and I'm having a hell of a time getting off my a** and making one either way. Gotta take care of ourselves first, right!
