When you say no to champagne....

[sage]

sage...


"You have amazed me with your strength and grace over the last 5 months. Thank you for working so hard on [y]our M."


is it cool if I say that instead???

Absolutely. Thank you VERY much for noticing my hard work!

i really like what you write, it validates Mat and helps me see the bigger picture

This is one of the reasons that I am so grateful for these boards...we all have a common theme (in a troubled M), and one can always find someone in a similar sitch/role but the wonderous thing is when we can find and appreciate someone coming at it from the "other" side. You have helped me too!

Sage

[sage]

Had a good day yesterday -- PMA was higher than it's been in a long time. Wasn't hard to think of 3 things to post about...

1. H sent me emails while I was in class.
I've mentioned before that school nights are tough for me because H and ow used to get together during that time. I don't know if he was doing it consciously or not (to alleviate my residual concerns/anxieties) but it makes me feel REALLY good when H. lets me know that he's home by sending me emails.

2. H. forwarded me a mail about the "guys night" he's going to tonight.

You may remember a week or so ago I had a mini-rant because H was going to do two social events with "the guys" who were the same social circle that ow belongs to. The rant wasn't about him going out but that he didn't tell me whether she was going to be there. WELL, guess I should be more patient...a few days after the rant he told me WHO was going to be at the first event (an event which never happened) AND last night he forwarded me the email regarding tonight's get together. ow was not on the list.

Again, don't know if he's doing this consciously or not.

Other thing that makes the email forwarding thing special is that it breaks a bit of the "secretiveness" surrounding H and email. Cool

3. H apologized for a fight that we had over the weekend.
We couldn't find our second walkman over the weekend when we were headed out to a bball game. I am VERY organizationally challenged when it comes to the house -- I am a clutterer, my crap is ALL over the place. One of the things I'm trying to do is reduce my STUFF. Anyway, we couldn't find the walkman and H. felt it was my fault -- he told me that "this is exactly the kind of thing that makes me angry". Now, this assertion is actually a GOOD thing in my book -- H almost NEVER TELLS (!!) me when something is peeving him so I loved the fact that he was this straightforward about it. I took the criticism well, apologized for my disorganization and told him I'd try to do better.

WELL, turns out the walkman was under some stuff that H. had moved around. He told me last night: "I have to apologize to you for something". Very good stuff. I'm liking the upfrontness of hubby.

Got a nice LONG weekend coming up here! Tonight I'm meeting a gaggle of local DB'ers for dinner so I'm psyched about that. Got a baseball game in my future, watching my brother in a road race, hopefully a movie or dinner or something as a fun date, too.

Sage

[Jeannine]

Super Duper!

Gosh your sitch is looking soooo good.

Glad to hear H is emailing you while your at school; telling you about those involved in night out; and expressing his reason for feeling peevish. This certainly shows a positive momentum within your H.

Enjoy! You deserve it.

Jeannine

p.s. A gaggle of DBer's? You crack me up.

[Caz]

Oh Sage, I'm so glad that you saw a new positive baby step in your sitch. You definitely are my inspiration to keep hoping, no matter what.

I hope that you continue to keep your PMA up and do well while I'm gone. I will have a lot of catching up to do on my return. Caz

[Sadbuthopefulsam]

Hi, Sage...So uplifting to read your post!! I'm glad the PMA is up in your life. I'm working HARD to find some!!!

I just wanted to ask that you read my post - I know you and SBH have shared a lot and I wanted some feedback...Really appreciate it whenever you get a chance, it's on a Sadbuthopeful thread, called "Sadbuthopeful's SAM"

Thanks

SBH's SAM

[erinr]

Hey Sage,

Sorry I haven't posted in such a long time. I've been reading, just don't have much time to do both!!

Glad to see so much good stuff going on. In an earlier post you mentioned how db'ing made you slow down and appreciate things you didn't see before. I would definitely have to agree. Now that we're back on the topside of this thing, it seems so simple. Wish I coulda figured it out without having ot go through all this crap!

Have a good night out with the gaggle and have a happy Easter weekend!

Erin

[BRIDGET]

Sage:

Hi. Catching up with you, you sound
wonderful! Very cool progress.

Way to go, not being defensive about
your stuff -- amazingly cool of ya --
wow -- I'm gonna copy your attitude!

I had to laugh because now that my
H moved out, I have no one to blame
for the clutter around here. Wait,
I can still blame the dogs, that's right!

You rock.

Thanks for visiting me over on "Hopelessness."

Oops, no no no -- I mean "Hopefulness."

Heh heh.

Have a fun weekend,

Bridget-the-demented

[sage]

Hmmm...wondering when I'm going to get locked out of this thread...I'd create a new one but I can't think of a new title right now.

My weekend was awesome.

Perhaps it's because it started off so well... meeting up with some fellow DB'ers for dinner and drinks.

Saturday AM I cleaned -- I've mentioned before that I'm organizationally challenged at home..this was my foray into getting rid of some crap. I've got a LONG way to go but it's progress! Saturday night H and I went to see a movie ("A Mighty Wind" -- not as funny as "Best in Show" but a good satire nonetheless). We haven't been going out as much lately and since that's definitely something "that works", I've been feeling the ill effects. AND, I got to feel the "good effects" of hanging out with H...which leads to ...

Sunday -- absolutely the best day that we've had together in a LONG while. First off, drum roll, I got a "morning hug" in bed -- may seem lame but I had been getting "good morning hugs" a month or so ago but they had gone away but I got not one but two over the weekend!!

We went hiking early in the morning. It was great. Spent the afternoon at the Sox game. H. asked me before the game started if it bothered me that we just sat there watching the game, each listening to the radio broadcast on our walkman's. He said "It's worried me that it might bother you that we don't interact much during the games". BIG giant step there...my honest response? No, it doesn't bother me...we're watching the game and I'm with you and that's AOK with me.

Sunday night...leftovers and "Six Feet Under"...lots of holding hands while watching TV.

Yesterday was mellow -- watched my brother in a road race, went to breakfast, to the gym. I had C. in the evening (yuck) and H. met me after for dinner (not yuck!).

What else? Thanked me for cleaning up on Saturday, thanked me for paying the bills yesterday -- both go a LONG way with me...I used to feel so angry that he didn't notice (or didn't comment on) the things that I do...

Last night I went to bed first. When he came in an hour later got a passionate kiss goodnight.

Told me he was going to cook dinner for me some night this week...just called this morning with "a plan" for tonight -- short term goal #2 achieved! It's been weeks since H. planned something for us to do together.

I wondered a time or two this weekend -- what if I'm setting myself up? What if I get hurt all over again? Decided that loving my H. as much as I can without fear (or with the fear but not constraining myself from it) can only be a GOOD thing...no matter what the outcome.

Gotta set some more short term goals since both have been met...

Sage

[lostlove]

Decided that loving my H. as much as I can without fear (or with the fear but not constraining myself from it) can only be a GOOD thing...no matter what the outcome.

morning sage,

sounds like an awesome weekend and a great revelation!!

LL

[Jeannine]

So happy to see that you continue to make progress in your marriage.

Jeannine