Just got this email from H's friend's fiancé- another one of his people reaching out to me. I feel weird about the wording that 'we know what's best'. This was solely H's decision- I was willing to put the work in. Do I respond?
Hey! Long time no talk! How are you?? I just wanted to say hi and let you know I’m thinking about you with everything that you guys are going through…I wasn’t sure if it was my place to reach out and say anything at first, but I think the dust has probably settled a bit. I'm not going to say anything else...i'm devastated obviously, but you guys know what's best. If you need anything, let me know, please!
Love, Xxxx
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
Have been doing so well and then the past few days have felt kind of down. I think because I am getting nervous about having so much unstructured time over the summer. Today I heard a song on the radio and cried my whole way home from work. Ugh.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
Sometimes it happens that we're so busy focusing on other things that it takes some time for the emotions to catch up to us. It's okay to let it out! Hope you are holding up okay otherwise.
As for the email from the friend - that wording is a little weird but don't take it to mean anything too much, I've found that people in our age group don't really know what to say in this situation because they've never really seen it happen before. If you were already close to that person, I would say you could respond with a simple, "Nice to hear from you, I appreciate your concern." If you're up to it, maybe you could meet her for coffee since she reached out and offered to help if you needed anything. I found that starting to talk to people (briefly) was like a burden lifted off of my shoulders. Also, if necessary, you could clarify that it wasn't necessarily a mutual decision but you are accepting it and making the best and working on yourself and (since she's H's friend's fiancee) show her that you're still an awesome person and just maybe that news will get back to H without any effort on your part. But that will be a judgment call on whether you go that route.
Thanks for the encouragement ladies! I went to the gym and worked out a lot and feel much better- I turned Destiny's Child Survivor way up and it made me feel better. You guys are going to yell at me, and I expect and accept it, but I had a little crush on a guy that I met a few weeks ago. He was giving me a lot of attention and then I think he got freaked and backed WAY off and that definitely has effected my mood too. I think knowing this guy was interested in me was helping me move on and distracting me. I honestly don't think about H much anymore, but every once in awhile it just hits me- HOLY CRAP THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING TO ME.
I actually did write back to H's friend's fiance the other day after I got her email. I just told her how I was doing really well and that I was keeping very busy, teaching a few courses over the summer, training for a fall marathon, etc. I even mentioned that I had been on a couple dates (I don't think this would get back to H, but I don't really care if it does). I also said something about how it was very difficult in the beginning because it came on so suddenly and blind sided me, but that my friends had been so supportive that was helpful. She responded saying that my H hasn't really told anyone anything other than our problems are unfixable and that we would be getting a D this summer so they were under the impression it was mutual. She also told me that her and her fiance had decided to invite us both to their wedding separately because they considered both of us their friends and they wanted me there(aww). I thanked her for the thought but told her that wouldn't be the best idea and that her and I could get together after the wedding so she could share pictures with me.
Brit- unstructured time is not as fun as you'd think. Especially 2 months of it. There is only so much you can do around the house and I can't really afford to go out and do fun stuff all the time. My house is big and lonely too- it was fine when two of us lived here but now I get pretty lonely at night. My plans are to get in really REALLY good shape, learn to golf, do some house projects, volunteer, etc. This week I am teaching a course for other teachers and next week I am teaching a course at BC, which is pretty exciting. I have 2 teacher friends that live nearby- one is pregnant and the other is going away for 6 weeks. The rest of my teacher friends are about a half hour away- which is doable, but again, I only have so much money I can spend.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
Ugh holidays are really the times that get to me! Had been feeling really good or pretty good most of the time lately but today I've been down in the dumps- I feel like people forget to include you when you are no longer part of a couple. Luckily my best friend always includes me.
In other news- Saturday I went to the beach with a group of friends from high school and then one friend brought a few of his coworkers. We had a really fun day and the guys were all going out at night. I decided not to go and my friend told me Sunday they ran into H at a nice bar in the city. They said he was wearing mesh shorts and a tshirt ( H is usually a good dresser). Friend told me they made eye contact but didn't talk as H was leaving. Monday morning H emails me but doesn't mention it (knows I hang out with hs friend a lot and would get back to me) but he is very pleasant in his email. Emailed me again today- again very pleasant.
Me-32 H-31 M-1yr, 9mos/T-6.5yrs No kids, 3 pets H estranged father passes away- 8/11 Bomb- 1/15/12 Began LRT- 4/1/12
