Thanks Labug and grmpy mnky...... it's so hard like you say, and to me it seems so unfair and unreasonable and seems so stupid and reactive and childish and immature on his part.... sometimes I feel so angry at him for doing this and for not talking to me. I really feel that I have to somehow try to lead my own life - which I'm doing pretty well alone, as I did when we were together anyway. I'm only hurting myself more in my disappointment at his lack of response or engagement with me. I feel we are 'at war'.... I was running after him and he is running the other way. I find it incredible that he just packed his stuff and moved out, without hardly looking behind him. And 6 months on this has not changed, and he has not wavered from this stance at all...... Sometimes I wonder how I've gotten through the days and months, the grief of my loss is the worst emotion for me, and today is a rotten day, again. Hs is evidently carrying lots of anger and he could go on like this for months more I guess. I haven't contacted him for three weeks, it's so hard. It's so sad.... That's a good idea Labug about coming here to get advice before posting any thing to him in the future if he gets in contact. Michele's book arrived yesterday - any moment at work I take it out! thanks friends
Anger and fear, the fact that I swallowed so much when he was at home and I didn't rise to his bad behaviours and insults and inconsiderations and I lost the opportunity to help him grow to a better person because I didn't know how.... = anger! (I know how now - but no use!)
Thanks Labug - it's a part of me that I have to hide away - fixer - even at work! Autonomy is my new word, practising also..... I'll look at that link Labug for livestrong.... How do you keep strong?
How are you doing now? I'm in the same sit. My h. dropped bomb early Jan. was gone same day. I'm, 58, he's 63. Were married 17 years. Divorce probably final in 2 weeks. I'm moving out soon. He's being very amicable and so easy for him. Haven't seen any recent posts from you. Hope you are ok.
Hi everyone I didn't log in for a while so I didn't see updated posts until now. Thanks for thoughts! I was really minding myself - no contacting husband at all and not feeding his emails. He was looking to see what I was doing about our situation; I replied by saying that I didn't want this situation, that I didn't ask for him to walk out the door, or to have an affair and he could do as he wished to move things forward for himself... I am not being pushed around by him. Last night, I was totally stunned when he called to our house. He was furious and angry as I won't do as he wishes and he feels in limbo. He was shouting about things that happened 5/6 years ago, and about things he never mentioned before. I was getting very upset, and crying, and I told him how much I missed him and loved him and how precious he is to me. He said that he wants to move back home, but he doesn't want the marriage and he is still refusing to come to counselling. I was delighted to see him and we laughed a bit and shared some stories on things that we've been doing apart over the last months, he had so many questions to ask me about. I felt happier going to bed last night - it's so hard to know how to be hopeful. Should I tread carefully, gently and keep praying? Thanks everyone for all your support.
