Where did my life go?

[irishblessings]

Another ball game last night. Another mother and I were sitting when XH and OW come in - matching shirts with son's name on them - and sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! I was going to move but I didn't want anyone to see how bothered I was. It was a MISERABLE 2 hours - but son won. She opens her mouth and this hoarse, raspy, MANLY voice comes out. OMG - disgusting. There is only one game left in the season and then the tournament. It's almost over! Then I have a break from their ugly faces until graduation:) I can regroup and repair myself for those moments!

[job]

Irish,
They are like bratty kids! It's a deliberate attempt to get you to talk to him or both of them. They are baiting you to say something. Gosh, it's too bad you didn't have a large drink in your hand and stood up to cheer your son on and the drink sloshed all over the place!

Just one more game and you won't have to see them again until later in the school year. Hang in there!

[Womanontheverge]

Irish,

You are demonstrating great restraint. Sometimes it's good to be the bigger person.

[TRUSTING]

That is so unbelieveable. They are clearly baiting you and behaving like idiots. This is just my opinion, but I truly feel that the ML'ers and OW get fueled by this cruel and heartless behavior. More power to you behaving like the classy wonderful person you are.

[kml]

Although I would have been tempted to toss wet Jujubes into her hair lol

[AntoniaB]

IB do you ever get tempted to say on your way out, "You know, everyone is laughing at you..." ???? I have to say it would have come out of me at some point. But I'd say it on my way out and then gravitate towards a group of people so they couldn't come back at me, ha ha ;-)

Seriously, though, they are. They are so crazy they are a caricature. See Beatrice's post. You have to come up with character names for them. Start calling them in your own mind by their character names.

The wet jujubes is the hair, by the way, is BRILLIANT. You could easily pull this off without anyone being the wiser ;-)

[sleeper]

IMO I don't think the mlcer is aware of the affects of their actions upon the LBS or the opinion of others of themselves (not that they would care). They're sick and suffering from a form of mental breakdown (not garnering sympathy, just stating fact).

Others notice what is happening whether they verbalized it or not (mostly not I think). One of my X's employees, who has worked for her longer then any other, said to me a few months post-bomb she didn't know who X was any longer and then added she wasn't sure if she even liked X any more.

A professional aquaintence of X and myself approached me at church months post-bomb while X was deep in OM imersion (at DS's baptism, no less) and said, "It takes a really big person to handle things the way you are handling them.

Point being I'm no "big person" but people notice what is happening.

Your X and OW aren't acting "normal" and you're not the only one aware of that fact.

[irishblessings]

Thanks all. Our new "reality" is really so strange I find myself needing reminders of what is truly "normal" and what is not.

[braveheart]

Irish, I went through a little of that a long time ago, but I stopped it fast. My XW had a short habit of driving up to my house with the OM and sat there and looked around. I put up with it a time or two and she called me one day trying to bait me into a fight. I didn't fight, but I told her that if she came back again, they would both leave feet first. She threatened to call the police on me and I invited her to do so.... I also told her that I didn't care if she called the President, if she came back again, she knew what to expect..... Needless to say, I wasn't bothered by them again. I know some folks will think that is extreme or barbaric, but at some point you have to draw the line with these people.

[irishblessings]

Brave - thanks for the post. I appreciate the fact that even though I may not be able to be a threat - that you would see their behavior as an inappropriate breach of boundaries.

The past few weeks I have probably communicated with XH more than normal. I have had to recognize that he has expertise in some areas that I don't and by not communicating I am probably hurting my son. Case in point - my son is being approached by college coaches to pay basketball next year. My XH was a D1 basketball player and he "speaks" their language. I also know, though - that my son will turn to me in helping him make the decision. He trusts me and he knows that I KNOW him better. It's taken a little while to get there but I'm not going to beat myself up.

Son's last regular season game is Friday. They play at a school that is in my school corporation. I completely DREAD the arrival of the matching shirts because I know that many people in that school are not even aware of the divorce. But I will make it through - I love my son.

I know you all will probably be glad when this season is over:) Next up - graduation and wedding THEN a break in the run-ins:) Thanks for your patience!