Happy Birthday Rick, if this years one is tough,take heart that next years b'day will be better. Winston Churchill said, "When you are going through hell, keep going!" You won't be in it forever.
Daughters at that age are hard, she's going through her own pain as well probably. Most people I know that have split up their kids come around and end up being more loving and caring towards both parents than they had before, for now all I would do about your daughter is keep loving her, it will come back to you eventually.
What made yesterday difficult is that many at work asked me several times what W had planeed for me. Most don't know my sitch so I was vague or just walked away. But I survived.
The last couple of days I have been struggling internally. My controlling side has been kicking my ass. I have learned through this that I do not like people telling me what to do or controlling me. Since my W is in total control over the D, and court date is very near, well you can imagine. I am really trying to let go but it is not easy. I am not acting or feeling angry, the opposite, feeling some depression.
Irrational thoughts have also been revolving in my head. I know they are irrational. I know life without W will be fine and maybe even great. But I am not there yet. At least I had a great morning with D. Made her breakfast and drove her to school. She took a pic of her snake, the thing is getting huge.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Hey Rick, Happy Birthday. Sorry to hear about your up and down anxiety. This is probably normal as you approach the court date. Pretty soon it will be over and you will deal with the consequences, however it works out. You are a strong guy, this too shall pass, believe me, I have already experienced some of it!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Say we got your back. Yes I think the ups and downs and the questionings are normlal. I am at a stage where what matters most is me. Not fully there yet. But been thinking that if I fell in love again how would I be different? Will she accept my old behaviors? Will I accept her unconditionally? Just full of questions but they do not need to be answered now. I am still trying to wrap my brain around the being happy is a do it yourself job. So the more you post the clear er things will become. Even if they sound trivial to you,
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I guess I been down the last few days. Was just not paying attention. Today I'm ok. Really trying to pay attention and take care of me. Doing things that I like. I have even been flurting with females( not to do anything with them) It is something that I never have done. TBH I am very shy with women.
W last night came home from work later than usual due to flurries. She seemed extra angry didn't even say hi. This morning the same super cold. Did not even say bye when she drove D to school. The one thing I noticed is that it bothers me less and less. From a clinical aspect I can see how much energy she must put into maintaining that wall. Must be really hard and alot of work.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
