ok folks...I've given it some thought and since h did make the statemen "look LL, I'm committed to trying to make this work" I should accept the fact that he is trying... despite the fact that the words did not come accross in a tone that I may have expected or wanted to hear them...he said them never the less...and more importantly has been acting (this week) like he is trying.
so then if h is trying to or rather is committed to trying to make this work..what purpose would it serve me to meet with a lawyer at this time..seems a bit ironic for me to meet with a lawyer one day to discuss ending the r...when h is to meet with my c the next day to discuss finding a way to make the r work.
I will postpone...I will not pick a timeline..a deadline..a "if you don't feel 100% sure I'm the woman for you" by such and such a time...
am I removing the threat?? was it a threat?? was it an act of a desperate woman...longing to know if her h is commited to her or not??? I don't know...but for now it will be put on hold...I don't want to attempt to repair this r under the threat of d anymore than h does.
my calling the lawyer for whatever reasons I did...seems to have made a difference in both h and I.
will things be easier simply because h is open to talking to my c at least once?? don't think so...will h all of a sudden be open and honest and want to "talk" whenever I do? not likely...but at least h is open to doing something other than just being here.
I have hope...I hope that h does too...I'd like to think that the fact that he is willing to go to c and seems to have some empathy for my postition shows that he does too.
time will tell.
LL honestly wish I knew how to link up all my drama into one place so that those who wish to understand the journey might simply click and read...I never did learn to link despite my many attempts and I know theres an awful lot of it out there (like some 8 threads at least) any willing soul able to do it I would greatly appreciate it.
some titles are
he can now say he wants a d silly monkee letting go it's what he wants the battle within the peace within trying to come home help me keep my mouth shut have to admit it's getting better dating while trying to save marriage
(sheesh LL's been a busy girl that's only the one's I come up with off the top of my head)
Kip since you were one of the first post I ever checked out...I can't link either but someone will. I'd like to check some of those threads out. The titles are great...but first...laundry Yuck! Anyway I'm excited for you!
#1?
"Those who don't read, have no
advantage over those who can't"
Mark Twain
thanks kip...I'd like to think I made h's day too...he called a bit ago just to say hello...and then asked what time I was taking the kids to my moms...I explained to him that I'd postponed the appoinment...didn't make sense for us to be taking steps in opposite directions...thanked him for the call..he said no problem..let him know that I like hearing from him...he again said no problem.
so I still have my mom comming to watch the kids...hmmmm what can LL do for a few hours...hang out in the book store and see if she's still got the nack to get asked out to coffee??? naaaaa! she knows she does...maybe I'll just go browsing the home decor stores?? or shopping for a good set of darts.
ll, things seem to be going in the right direction. you postponing the apt is a show of good faith to your h and i know he is happy about that. it is so hopeful that your h had agreed to c. it took my h 3 yrs to get to the point where he was willing to ask for outside help. and it has made such a differance. just being willing is such a big step. if i had a few hours, i think i would get a massage! but shopping is good too. lisa
Shop for the new darts and anything else h would like...do they make teddies with snow shovels attached? Or little toy axes? For chopping thru the layers of hurt with hubby? Just have fun LL! He loves you, you love him...no expectations...enjoy...gosh just looking at your thread titles....you & h already are a success story.... I know your not where either of you want to be yet but just to be on the journey with our spouses is a gift in itself.... have fun
KIP
"Those who don't read, have no
advantage over those who can't"
Mark Twain
Great news about your h willing to keep trying..maybe they need to be shaken up..who knows..work on the things you need to and let the little stuff go. There is always hope when both really want to make a go of the marriage. Sue
