Hi, just got back thanks for your replies. I'm on anti-depressants now, was trying to get off them but figure now is not the time so have upped the dosage. Can't afford to talk to a shrink but can go back to the family doctor. I've cut back on drinking but haven't yet started exercising, (and the dog is getting fatter!) I guess I've been overacting in the past because I'm getting a lot of talk from friends saying he wants the divorce he just doesn't want to be the one to do it. Other friends advising me to do a trial separation even though I don't want to, he's now living full time at his parents' appartment in town and just coming back on the w/end to get the kids and take them back with him. I do think I've been behaving like a frustrated toddler not getting my way. We've suspended talk of divorce while it's my birthday but it should come soon, I know I probably have run my marriage off it rails.
just to answer the question do I want to see him or not?... well it hurts so much to see him knowing he doesn't want to be with me anymore, when I ask him why he's leaving me, he says " it's complicated" this is why I've had so much frustration. New Year's Eve he didn't want to celebrate, he ended up threatening to kill himself with a knife from our early days together overseas. I booked for him to see a counsellor I hope he goes, maybe I haven't been so good for him over the last few years I've become more and more anxious as I felt him pulling away emotionally. Now over the last 12months I've been like an angry tornado! trying to figure out what went wrong (i know, me!) and how to fix it.
Ok so he cancelled the counsellor but said thanks for the thought is this his way of saying I won't take any more suggestions from you? just to let you know I have nothing to discuss my mind's made up? and will he call for my birthday?
