I was really opposed to meds at one time too. They were fine for other people but I felt I had a good enough coping mechanism and a strong constitution to handle life's ups and downs. When I finally realized what my low grade long term anxiety/depression had done to me and my marriage, I decided there wasn't any reasonable action I wouldn't do to get better. It took me four solid weeks or maybe more to get where I am now, but I'm so thankful this experience led me to get the help I needed. No one's judging you; do what you need to do.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I meant four solid weeks on A/D (ie, to settle down and just feel normal).
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
My W got the legal documents for separation I sent late last week. In these documents, the separation gives her everything I thought she wanted. She obviously spent the weekend contemplating them deeply. She was quite disraught when I talked to her just now. I think these documents hit her like a brick......reality has struck. Her last comment as she had to hang up due to tears was: I don't have a job, I don't have anything.....
Not sure how to handle this. I want to help her, to protect her. But this is what SHE wants. HER choice. How do I proceed?
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
AC that is a hard place to be. Could you add in the document specific time frame where she could get a job? Say 90 days? I think that might give her time to get herself together before being tottaly cut off financially. just my 2cs
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
AC, I'm a little confused. Does she want the D? Or does she just want a legal sep that would allow her to keep benes, etc? Does your state allow leg sep? What did she think would be the result of a D? Does she not understand that D would mean the end of her support system?
Just some questions, hang in there pal
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
My W wants a legal seperation, as she needs a "clean break" in order to move forward. Legal seperation allows her to keep health insurance. She knew the seperation would me a severing of finances, but I think she was a bit stunned to get the documents. It made her realize that her life is going to change dramatically, and not necessarily for the better. She is afraid of having little or no money, and realizes her job prospects are not that great. I think the documents were a huge reality check.
My IC made a very good point today....if on the very distant chance W wanted to come back, would I take her back, realizing the massive turmoil it might cause for years to come. If only I knew the answer to that.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
